I wasn't sure if this was the right place to post this, but I just had the weirdest thing happen to me today. I have been under massive high anxiety for the past couple of months and couple of weeks have been constant anxiety all day and night. I'm on 10 mgs of Celexa now and today is dose 9, so I'm still new on it. I have noticed the past couple of weeks since I've been in my very very high anxiety (free floating, the whole kit and kaboodle) I have been getting a bit more angry about little things and getting angry faster. I have been able to control it but this evening I got into an internal rage.
I was on the computer and loading a page for work that has a known issue where new stuff doesn't always show up. Thing is, I start worrying that if the new stuff doesn't show up then my manager will accuse me of not having read the page (even though she knows about this glitch). Sometimes managers are petty like that and even if it's not my fault they will say why did you do that or whatever.
So I'm looking at the page and I start getting frustrated because I see it's not showing any new stuff like it's supposed to (this happens every week when I check this page and I only have to check it on Saturdays). I feel this anger growing inside me, and realize it's getting to an inappropriate level, but it keeps growing and growing into a rage.
It really scared the crap out of me and I had a panic attack right after it -- my stomach dropped out, my legs went all hot and I panicked so bad that my whole body aches now.
It felt so weird. I didn't have ANY inclination at all to act out in any way (I didn't want to hit anything or throw anything -- it was all internal). Inside I felt like a mini volcano and got really scared that I was going to lose my mind and go nuts, but again, didn't have any urge to DO anything. I was terrified of the anger as I was feeling it, and it felt like I was dissociated from myself somewhat because I felt like I was watching it happen while it was happening and it didn't feel like "me."
It was a really odd, foreign sensation and lasted maybe 20 seconds or 30 seconds and then I had a panic attack which I guess derailed it. I'm now terrified of it happening again. I've never had a rage or anger attack like that. It felt almost exactly like a panic attack does -- only instead of fear it was a growing anger instead.
I looked it up and this does exist, but I have never had it before. I have felt rage before, I've gotten angry before, but I have never had this growing sensation of anger inside me like an out of control physical internal response -- just like a panic attack washes over and through you. Just like that, only with anger instead of fear.
Please help me understand what this is. Is it my anxiety? Can anxiety make me react that way? Is it the Celexa? (I have been having so many weird sensations, thoughts and feelings the past 2 weeks, it's hard to know. The Celexa did cause a lot of intense free floating anxiety but it had gotten a bit better the past 3 days so I thought maybe the side effects of the Celexa were getting better. Is this a side effect or am I losing it big time?)