I am a 58 yo male in the eastern US. I feel as though life has lost all meaning and is no longer worth living. In the past 3 years an reasonably idyllic life has came apart. Divorce, business failing, loss of parent (afater slow demise), poor choice of so called friends that have used my good nature.
I do not want to sit on the "pity pot", but I am complete wreck. I have taken antidepressants for 12 years and they no longer seem to help with my panic and depression. I live in a state of panic and alone. I am lost and have self destructive thoughts.
Lately things have become more constant and never ending. Starts as soon as i am awake and rarely tapers. i have spent a fortune in the past 2 months in the emergency room, had complete heart work including cath. No organic causes. It is all in my mind and my stinking thinking.
Please help, I am lost and at wits end. i tire from prying to die each night only to awake the following day.