Hello everyone -
I am a 34 year old female with severe hypochondria. My father passed away 3 years ago from cancer and since then, hypochondria has pretty much taken over my life. Last year when I was pregnant, the doctor wanted me to have a biopsy on a lump found in my breast - the biopsy turned out to be benign but the whole ordeal has made things that much worse. I constantly question if their was a mistake and they might have missed something, some rare type of cancer, etc.
In the past year alone I have thought I had skin cancer, bone cancer, thyroid cancer, lung cancer, thought I was going blind, large cavities forming in my teeth, brain tumor, lupus, lymphoma, COPD, heart disease, the list goes on.
I read on the internet that diseases often showed up in fingernails so I have become obsessed with checking my fingernails multiple times a day. Sometimes I look at them for a good half hour. I'm also obsessed with checking my lymph nodes. I check my neck so many times a day I think I end up bruising myself.
This has become a constant fight between my husband and myself. The second I bring up cancer he gets angry and refuses to talk to me about it. He dismisses anything I say and just tells me "you're fine". If he catches me checking my fingernails or lymph nodes it causes a fight, so i've been going into the bathroom to do it when I feel the urge.
If I get online and google search a symptom I have and it matches up with some type of cancer - I get a hot flash and feel my heart start to beat fast, dizzy, etc. I become paralyzed with fear. I feel like if I force myself to ignore the symptoms and stop checking myself daily - I am just allowing the cancer to eat away at me and it will be too late.
Sometimes all I have to do is see someone on TV with a certain type of cancer, a type that never even crossed my mind before, and a week later I am convinced that I probably have it.
Can anyone here relate? Is your hypochondria ruining your relationships?