Few deep breaths. Calm down now. So you made a mistake. A very big mistake. Would it be fair to you strayed because there was nothing happening in your marriage at all? People have needs. They have desires. If that is lacking in a marriage and there seems to be no way of working through it, people do, a lot of the time, look elsewhere for they are missing out on. Along came this other friend. Said a few nice things to you. You were feeling so low that I think had anybody been as nice to you the result would have been the same. You simply just wanted to hear words and have needs met that were gone from your marriage. Now we have the present situation. The friend was just a user. You are stuck in a loveless marriage. A marriage is like a contract. You have to ask yourself was that contract altered not just by you straying. But also by your husband when he more or less gave up on things in the marriage. So nobody will play the blame game. But you can still try and see if there is anything there worth saving. What is done is done as far as the friend is concerned. It is in the past. Put it behind you. It was a bad mistake. But you and your husband, if you can't talk to each other, need to see a couple's therapist. Badly. To work out where each of you are at right now. To see how your husband is thinking right now. This is without him even knowing about the quick fling you had. If there is no love there you have to ask yourself is it worth staying in such a marriage? This is what a couple therapist will help you figure out. If the part comes up about you straying, there is no need to say who it was with. If that is really bugging you, you can just say it was a person you met and got talking to and swapped numbers. No need to mention names of old friends and people you worked with. A good couple therapist. But tell your husband that you feel something has changed about the marriage. Something you feel that has to be addressed and can't be let go on as it is. That you want to try and keep the marriage together ( If that is what you want ) but in order to do so you feel you may need third party help. The therapist. Life can be full of mistakes. Everyone makes them. That's what makes us all human.