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Author Topic: Nerves Frayed (beyond repair?)  (Read 518 times)

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Offline Calamy

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Nerves Frayed (beyond repair?)
« on: September 18, 2013, 06:30:30 PM »
The past few months have been very very hard. It "began" last November when winter was in full swing and I started getting more panicked. My birthday was coming up and I was unhappy, scared, worried, depressed, anxious. I have been unhappy since moving to Canada in November 2010. I feel that everything changed then, and I got worse with my symptoms, my weight, my depression and everything else.

The past 3 months or so have been extremely hard with attacks from my in laws (many in email and in person, plus threats), a sense of being damaged and causing everyone pain and feeling guilt, and this revved up, frayed feeling where I feel like I have been "shocked" over and over with no recovery at all in between.

Have you ever felt that way? Like, way too many things happening, too many problems to think about and solve, too many body problems or symptoms, too much on your shoulders, and too much PRESSURE? It's beyond just feeling anxious, I think I feel actually frenzied and literally DAMAGED like I can't heal or find any way to ease the hurting. Like having an open wound and having it get salt or lemon juice in it all the time.

WHat do you do when you feel that bad? Like, crying all the time at the drop of a hat or exploding with anger and yelling because there's one nerve left and it's hanging by a thread? Anyone ever feel like that?
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"Fear is such a vicious thing; it wraps me up in chains." - Tears for Fears, "The Working Hour"

Offline Lunatone

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Re: Nerves Frayed (beyond repair?)
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2013, 02:19:46 AM »
When I feel that bad, I do... Nothing. Those thoughts are invalid, and are being produced or exaggerated by the anxiety. Responding as if they were really how things are would validate and perpetuate the thoughts and negative feelings.

I continue with what I was doing as if I'd never had the thoughts. No matter how bad they get, I do not validate them. This took me a very long time to figure out, mind you. Its easier to say than it is to do, but so long as you keep at it it will get better in the long run. The thoughts will hold less power over you, even if you cant personally see it happening day by day.
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Offline Calamy

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Re: Nerves Frayed (beyond repair?)
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2013, 10:11:23 AM »
Thanks Lunatone, that is a good angle to look at it. I will try that today. It is easier said than done but at least it's an idea and something I can work with:)
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"Fear is such a vicious thing; it wraps me up in chains." - Tears for Fears, "The Working Hour"

Offline Bamboo31

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Re: Nerves Frayed (beyond repair?)
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2013, 12:24:44 PM »
I don't have time to respond more right now, but I did want to say I know exactly how you feel.  You explained so well what I go through a lot of the time. 

First of all, I think it is helpful not to look at the totality of your situation.  You need to tackle one thing at a time.  Anything and everything can become too overwhelming if we lump it all together and see what a mess it is.

I will come back with more thoughts, but I did want to tell you that you are not alone
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Offline Bamboo31

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Re: Nerves Frayed (beyond repair?)
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2013, 11:43:00 AM »
I am back with more thoughts. 

I have lived with anxiety for as long as I can remember.  It hit a peak about three years ago, and I have been struggling to get a handle on things ever since.  I feel pressure and overwhelming anxiety so much of the time, but there are a few things I try to keep in mind.

First, I am devoting myself to my children and husband.  I have made it a mission to be the best I can be for them.  It takes the focus off me and my problems, and my pains, and ME, ME, ME. When you care for another-whether it be a pet, volunteer work, or picking up trash in the park, you are living to make the world better for someone else. 

I also do things to treat myself all the time.  I love to take hot baths; I do that every day.  I make sure to do things that I enjoy and plan things that I can look forward to.  My daughter and I look forward to watching cooking shows on TV.  We get through the day, finish homework, and have something special that we wind down with together.  Little, special things are all that get me through some days.

You said you were unhappy since you moved to Canada.  You are also having in-law problems.  Those are two huge issues.  What could you do about the things that are making you unhappy? Maybe deciding on a course of action will help you to feel more in control of your situation.  Pick one issue and decide to concentrate on that one problem until you come to a resolution.  And resolution may mean accepting you can't change it, but you will look at it differently and put it in perspective. You will find a way to make the best of a bad situation. 

Talking to friends or family is also a good support.  I talk to my sister when I need someone to listen.  My husband cannot relate, so it is frustrating to talk to him; I avoid that. 

Lastly, I give myself a break. I cry when I need to.  If I explode with anger, I apologize and explain I am frustrated and feeling overwhelmed.  It's not an excuse, but I have anxiety, and I am trying to do the best I can with what I have been dealt.   

You are not alone.   
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