Welcome to the forum . . . .glad you came by and shared your experiences with us . . .
First off, I can say, and I am not a med professional, you have had multiple and major life events in a very compressed time . . . I suspect that you are experiencing the cumulative effect of these events and probably (and I don't know) and probably not effective professional intervention . . .
1. there seems to be a genetic predisposition to GAD in your family. This does not mean that your life history needs to be the same as your Mom's. It does mean that you need appropriate professional intervention.
2. in 2010, you had a baby . . . perhaps you are experiencing the after-effects of post-partum depression / anxiety
3. in 2011, you started college . . . quite a challenge for someone who has a 1-year old baby so you might be exhausted physically and that would affect our mental health
4. in 2011, you lost 2 grandparents . . . perhaps you did not have time, energy, or insights to go through the grieving process because you were dealing with other life events
5. in 2011, your 5 year relationship of abuse ended . . . .perhaps you have yet to process the multiple layers of an abusive relationship and how they had an impact on you
6. in 2012, you started a new relationship, moved to a new city and got married ---- all major events
7. at 25, you feel you are perimenopausal --- is this a medical diagnosis or a self-diagnosis? Anxiety can mess up hormone systems quite badly.
You only asked if it gets better . . . it can but it depends on you . . . you say that you have tried meds, therapy, etc. and nothing works. Even though you did not ask for advice, I will give it to you based on my experience:
1. get a complete physical to verify your physical status --- i.e. are you really perimenopausal? what about your thyroid? your blood count, etc.
2. get a referral to a trained professional such as a psychologist or counselor who specializes in abusive relationships and grieving processes (as odd as it may sound, the two can be interrelated especially when they happen at the same time (people leaving an abusive relationship often have feelings of guilt, self-criticism, grieving for a loss of time, etc.)
3. accept that finding a good match between you and the counselor is a process and you may have to check out several before finding a good match but remember the focus is on you . . .the therapist is there for you not you for the therapist . . . .
4. consider all of the options that you are given because only you can decide which ones best fit your lifestyle, goals, etc. Sometimes meds fail because they are not the right match for the person. Sometimes a general practitioner prescribes meds that are ineffective because s/he does not know what the current research is or what is out there. These docs often rely on pharmaceutical reps who want to sell their product. Some types of therapies work and some won't. Many of us have had loads of positive reactions to CBT while others found it ineffective --- again, this depends on the individual
5. consider trying mindfulness, etc. but remember everything is a process not an event and there probably will be road blocks but you just have to take it one day at a time or one moment at a time --- have accomplishments worked into your day . . .they don't have to be large accomplishments --- I start out by cleaning out my sock drawer . . . I didn't want to do it; it was too much to do; what was the point; okay, I may as well do it and I felt better . . . oh, not as if anxiety disappeared but the little accomplishments build into larger ones such as going for a walk . . . .I started with 5 minutes one way and 5 minutes back . . .anxiety told me not to do it; I had symptoms of everything; but I repeated it the next day, etc. and after I don''t know how long, anxiety didn't come along for the ride
You are not crazy; you are not beyond help. You do have mental health issues that you need guidance for. But, only you can start the process and commit to it . . . . and, it did get much better for me . . .I won't lie to you . . .I still have episodes of anxiety but these are less intense and less frequent . . . .I have not had a full blown panic attack for a couple of years (knock on wood) . . . but, when I hit a roadblock, I figure I may as well keep trying because I would rather go forward than remain standing still . . .
Please come here as often as you would like . . . we are not med professionals so we cannot help you except through our personal experiences but you will find that we represent a broad background of issues and strategies and we are more than happy to provide you with whatever support we can . . . hope you come back and let us know how you are doing . .. .take care, kc