I was married for 12 years to quite a controlling woman. I moved to Australia to be with her from the UK. We had a son together. I did most of the raising of my son whilst my wife was a high flying career woman. We had a lot of arguments but I stayed for my sons sake. He had his own set of problems so I also was left to deal with that on my own with no support. His school thought he had autism so I was back and forth from doctors with no real answers.
I started to get horrible anxity and felt really down but I carried on for my sons sake. My wife and my son were pretty horrible to me.
Anyway after about 4 years of arguing I gave my wife a ultimatium to stop nit picking and controlling me and all that did was make her angry. I didnt really want to leave her, it was more a idle threat for her to change but instead She started getting divroce papers ready. After 4 months of what I thought was a hopless battle I just gave up and left.
When I say controlling, I mean she controlled all the money, questioned everything I did, accused me of having affairs, and erupted in anger if I questioned anything she said.
I went back to the UK as I had no family and no support. I struggled for a long time, my ex divorced me then after a few months wanted contact. I did that for my sons sake but then my ex wanted me to come home. I thought that was a dumb idea and tried to move on but I couldnt.
The situation is now 18 months later I want to go home and start over. My wife was pretty mean to me and so was my son but they were my life. My problem is I have terrible anxity. I cant tell my parents or resign from my job. Im to scared to a doctor. Im like a helpless child which is weird as I was such a strong person. My ex wife bought me a ticket in april I couldnt go, Then in may I bought a ticket and got to the airport and couldnt go.
I feel like I am losing my mind. I want to go home but I cant. I did leave her once before about 7 years ago and she got me to come back and it was the same old crp again. Im not a terrible parent. I did everything for my son and he ended up being like her. She had a daughter from a previous marriege that doesnt bother with her, hasnt done since she was about 10. When I was with my ex I always worried my son would end up like the daughter, not a very nice person at all. I fought tooth and nail to stay but in the end it was all to much.
I just really dont know what to do and the anxity is ruining my life.