Chester and I started seeing each other almost a year ago. We are so perfect for each other in nearly every way and I can seriously see myself marrying him someday.. Our main problem is that he lives in a city about an hour away where he goes to college. He is also in the Army and has ROTC every weekday morning.
So far, we've managed to get by okay with being able to see each other... Well, he drives to see me every time. We spent most of the summer together and now its time to go back to school. When he's back at school I will likely only see him on the weekends, but only 3/4 weekends in a month because of the Army. I can't make the drive to see him or spend time with him at his house because of my anxiety. I can't run home at the drop of a hat like I sometimes need to when I'm an hour away.
Chester is also a very adventurous person and likes to go on road trips across the state where his family and some friends are. I can't go. I know this bothers him a lot and I wish so badly that I didn't have to burden him with my anxiety; I burden myself with it enough. Sometimes I feel as though he ignores that I have a problem, and doesn't try to help me much when I'm having anxiety and need reassurance.
Yesterday he and I had a conversation where he told me he doesn't want to accept that I have this disability because then it would be making it okay.. This really hurt. I feel like if I had something like a heart condition or other physical illness he wouldn't feel that way. I think he is under the impression that people wake up deciding to have anxiety and we choose to give in to it. (I choose to run home when I have anxiety rather than face it) And I was forced to face it in the past by an ex and it made it worse. Anyway, what can I say to him to make him understand what this is, what I'm going through and that it is REAL!?