don't allow people who do not matter continue to control your happiness
It's almost a year now since they fired me. I thought about what you said and I remember how those people ruined my holiday, my times with family, or when I'm doing my hobby. Often I can not be there and enjoy the moment because I think too much about what they did to me and how I can take revenge, but in the end it just ruined my day....I often think that if I can take revenge I'll be happy, but the more I think about it the more I suffer. They control my happiness....like you've said.
I think I need to be more thankful, I still able to teach, I got income and it is legal, people in my new workplace is more welcome and they agree with how I teach and how I build the relationship with the students, the students started to like me and respect me, my business is growing and on high season my business is able to give me more income than what my former workplace gave me, and many more...I just need to be thankful, in fact maybe losing my job was the trigger that increased my business revenue. It's only 2 years since I start my business and it have so much potential, it still have a lot of opportunity and it can grow bigger....and if I run it correctly in 10 years it could give me much more income than what my former workplace can give me.
And now I remember, the day when they fired me, there are more people regret it than happy about it, my co-workers didn't agree with the decision,all of my students are sad and angry toward my former workplace including those students whom I never teach, they just heard how good I am on teaching and they like me. Yes, they are people hate me back there but there are more people who love me and agree with what I did there, more than 500 students from my former workplace still follows me on tweeter, they still love me and sometimes they asked me to come back. It is all about politics, I gave a good work performance and some people who didn't like me started to saw me as a threat.
Two days after I got fired I met the rector, I knew him well, he didn't know that I was got fired because the dean did that behind him (I was still on probation as a new lecturer and the dean had the authority to stop my contract) and he asked me to comeback but I rejected it, about 3 months ago someone from the foundation of that university and also happen to be my classmate asked me to comeback she said that they need a good and potential lecturer and she can arrange it if I want to joined them again, but I reject the offer. I reject the offer because I didn't like to work there, I'm not happy, yes they gave me a lot of money but I felt I'm in constant fear, fear of loosing my job, fear of what others people think about me or talk bad thing behind me, the office politics is so tough, and I think its not a good place for a person like me who have anxiety brain. Maybe most people can withstand the politics at my former workplace because they give a lot of money, but not for me, I have anxiety disorder, I rather find another sources of income and teach in a more welcome atmosphere. Sometimes I feel like I'm loosing to those people but if I remember how more people got sad because I got fired and how my former students still talk high about me, I'm not the one who lost, they never win over me, I'm just not there anymore but people still talk good things about me.
The point is, I just need to be thankful and like what Nick Vujicic said "focus on what you have and be thankful"...thank you kc, thanks for remind me. Letting go the past is hard thing to do for me, like when I was young and my girl friend wanted to leave me, I need more than a years to recover and move on
. I just need to give myself more times, sometimes I just forget what I have and focus on my hateful thought, but I have this forum and you to remind me again and again that I don't need those people who hate me because they got jealous over me, don't let them control my happiness, and be thankful.
*I just realize "tw11ter" is automatically change to 0248