I haven't been here in a while as I've been focusing on problems in my marriage, which HA has contributed to. My latest fear is BC, which has been going on for about one year. I have no reason to suspect anything, just a fear. I'm female and have breasts, therefore I (think I) will get BC. I have to stop thinking like that. And please no one suggest a mammogram as I have my own opinions about those things.
Anyway, as I've said I am having problems in my marriage which we are trying to work through. My HA contributed to the feelings of neglect my husband experienced which led to an emotional affair on his part. We are now trying to put the pieces back together and my HA fears have been at bay for several months as I've been concentrating on my marriage.
But now, I have a job offer that sounds really good...too good to pass up. I currently work PT but love my job and was looking for a supplemental PT job. But I'm scared that something will happen to our marriage and I'll need to support myself. So I'm forced to find a FT job with my own benefits. I really don't want that and when I discuss this with my husband, he just thinks I'm crazy and then gives me the "I don't care what you do" comment. I know he's fed up with me when he says that. If I do what I want to do, I feel like he'll just have enough and divorce me.
I just have so much anxiety about totally leaving my job to start this new one. What if something (health-related) happens to me and I can't work? I'll probably lose my job because of it and then I'll have nothing. At least in my job I have now, they will understand and work through it with me (I know they would).
Does anyone have some good words of advice on how to reel this in, bite the bullet, etc? I am in so much fear about this. I have three days to accept the offer. AAAH!!