Panic attacks or agoraphobia?

[hellokitty]

Since about... 2 years and a half ago (im 16 now) i've had what i thought were panic attacks.
For the first year i thought i had something medically wrong with me - i often just couldn't breathe properly, felt like i couldnt get enough breath. I went to the doctors twice. The first time she suggested anxiety but i was like 'no, no its not that' and that's as far as that went. I didn't think it was.
Last week i went to the theatre with my Welsh class at school - which i HAD been looking forwards to. I had the worst panic attack ever. I hated being trapped amoungst all those people, there was no way i could have got out. I was sweaty, my whole body seemed to hurt, i was dizzy, tingly hands and feet, hard to breathe, etc.
The worst thing is, i'm a musician. When i'm playing to people, my hands get tinglier and tinglier until i can't move them atal. About a month ago, i was playing an EXTREMELY difficult flute solo in a concert when i was ill and exhausted, and my hands got so tingly, i had to stop, and ran off crying! Since then, i can't even play in orchestras without getting tingly hands.
The thought of not making it as a musician because of this, well i don't even know. There's nothing i want more than to be a flautist.

Things i used to enjoy now terrify me. I used to love going to orchestra, now i'm practically crying before i go.

Do i have agoraphobia? The times it happens, is when i know i can't leave or get out.

Also, i can't go to the doctors. My parents are sort of ashamed and refuse to let me go to a psychologist and they also think they'll put me on antidepressants even though i'm not depressed. My mum does want me to get better, but my dad just tells me to stop being stupid and that im imagining everything.
I usually have atleast 1 panic attack a day and i'm so ready to do something about it. But i'm gonna have to go it alone... i have a friend who suffers from the same thing (well he has G.A.D. and sees a psychologist) who helps me.

Any suggestions/tips/etc.?

[Steve_P]

Yes you definitely have Agoraphobia - which is essentially the fear of having panic attacks in uncontrollable situations (such as the ones you've mentioned).

It's a shame about your parents, and I think what you should do is tell them exactly what you're feeling, explain it as best you can - and then take them over to the computer so they can see firsthand just how many anxiety support websites are out there, stressing the fact that these sites describe EXACTLY the symptoms and dreaded thoughts that you're experiencing.

Additionally, you could show them an online bookstore such as amazon.com and point out all of the anxiety help books, and better yet - make them accompany you to bookstore and show them the the entire sections dedicated to shelves filled with anxiety help books.

It might take them seeing the sheer volume of data out there on this subject to realize and understand the severity.  I think I would also try to get at least one of them to accompany you to a doctor (perhaps who your friend sees?) and have this doctor explain to your parents more about your condition and that it is very real.

Cheers.

[apple]

If you cant get your parents to help...get what you can out of your friend.  Your friend can offer advice from what he/she gets from the psyc.  Is there a school councellor you can see?  Check out the library and see if they have any good books on anxiety.  I really hope your parents come thru for you and accept this and help you.