its even worse when your stuck in a life that you cant escape from, because of the hell life i live each day there just isnt anything to look forward to and give me any hope of even living anymore. Its hard having to goto work everyday and hide it all, its scary not knowing what to do next, i just dont care about people, my health, or anything at all, nothing makes me happy, it just feels like i dont need to live life anymore and i dont want to, i can only see things getting worse from here on for me, infact i know it for sure. Its also really hard with noone to talk to, i to have major social anxiety and because of this havent gone out or had anything to do with anyone for atleast the last 10 years, people arent interested in people who are depressed, you try to explain to them but they dont want to listen, they just want to abandon you, your an embarrassment for them to be around and you realise it and also realise your not acceptable anymore and need to be alone forever. i have been through all of that so many times, people suck, i hate living in this world, how people can walk around and be happy doesnt make any sense to me at all, I just dont understand life anymore and am truly over it. At times you handle it better then other times sure and sometimes maybe dont even feel depressed but inside you are depressed even if it doesnt seem so at times, your right, it kind of never leaves you really, just sometimes i wish i knew of something that could give you hope and not make you feel scared of living for the next day, ok i have no self esteem at all, am the most negative person in the world probably aswell, I hate my family for making all this worse for me to, ahhh, its just terrible, it really is, theres no way out of this, at times i want everyone around me to die so i can be even more alone but then i know if this happened i would just die, your brain goes into a zombie mode and its hard to get out of this zombie mode, its a weird feeling but i think its my brains way of a safety barrier, while i stay in zombie mode ill be safer, so i always say to myself, dont think, think about nothing at all, this world scares me, its scary being a human and having to live on earth, i dont like the human life, people make me anxious, i dont like being around them.
Does anyone have a pet Cat or Dog? Does it help? Should I get one?