I'm glad to be in a community of (hopeful) friends who might have experienced similar problems...
I'll give the Reader's Digest version. I'm in my early 50's married to a wonderful woman for 33 years. We have a married grown daughter who just had our first grandchild, a boy about 7 weeks ago. They are all happy and healthy.
I am the middle child of 3. I have an older brother who lives in North Carolina. A younger sister in Colorado. My elderly parents live in an assisted living home 3 miles from my house. My father is in the latter stages of Alzheimer's Disease. He doesn't know me any longer. My mother has some dementia, but remains as she always has been, angry, willful and narcissistic.
In the last 2 years I have attended to both of my parents' declining health (from 50 miles away). I don't have the time to lay out every single thing I have had to do over those 2 years...while trying desperately to keep my business going (I'm a children's book illustrator) and my marriage, relationship with my own daughter, etc.
Most of the time I do fine. I run and cycle a great deal to keep in shape and keep stress at bay. I'm 6'0 and weigh 170 lbs. My bp is 120/78. Normally I take .75 mg of Remeron to help with depression and help me sleep and see a therapist.
I got the bright idea of quitting everything right about the time my grandson was born. (I had actually quit seeing my therapist a few months prior to that...maybe April)...no more Remeron, no more therapist. I could handle it.
7 weeks later I am a mess. 6 or 7 phone calls a day from my mother, "Can you get this for me or that for your father?" "After all, you are the one who put us in here."
At about the time I quit my meds and therapy I decided it would be a good idea if I biked over to see my parents every day...showing them new pictures of my grandson-great grandson...
To back up a little I started to notice when I went cold turkey off of my Remeron an occasional little heart palpitation. Not a racing heart, but like a little skip. My anxiety level was steadily increasing during this time. About a week after they started (and there were never more than 3 or 4 episodes in a day, no faint feeling, no pain or dizziness) I went to my GP. She said it was probably due to the stopping of the Remeron and the increased anxiety. Had a normal resting EKG and bloodwork.
Burning lump in my throat, burning in my collarbone area and in my arms. Ended up at an Urgent Care place a week later thinking I was having a heart attack. BP was 122/80 pulse 78. Doc said it was stress....gave me a mixture of Lidocaine and Mylanta which immediately put the fire out in my chest and arms.
Back on my Remeron, also taking some Ativan, palpitations seem to be coming down....still exercising...the weird thing is I don't have any cardiac symptoms when I'm biking or running...ran 3 miles an hour ago. Exercise is freedom to me.
But I'm scared. No one has recommended that I go to a cardiologist and I'm frightened to go out on my own and do so.
I think I'm just a worn out guy who should have known better than to come off of his meds.