Hi. I am a 34 year old mother of 4 ( well, 3 now. I lost my 8 yr. old daughter almost 4 years ago to the H1N1 )
I have suffered GAD for as long as I can remember. I am on 300mg of Effexor. Something that I was going to try and get off of very slowely a few mths ago, cause I thought things were getting better, and I have never really felt like it has helped me. I also HATE the withdrawal if I happen to miss a dose.
Anyway, I have HORRIBLE hypochondriac issues. Even worse since seeing my daughter die. When my anxiety is bad, it is worse.
The other day, I was sitting in my backyard reading. My daughter and her friend were upstairs in her room ( 12 yrs old ) My daughters friend comes down to tell me this..
She had picked a scab on her leg. Forgot about, until she felt something on her leg. Lifted her leg up to look ( at this time when she raised her leg, her toes were pointing towards the window out at me ) and noticed that some blood ran down her calf from her scab, and formed an arrow and it was pointing to me! The weirder thing was it wasnt a solid arrow like this -----> there was a space of no blood between the line and the triangle like this ------- >.
How does that happen? what does that mean? This happened on Friday, it is now Sunday night and this is all i have thought about all weekend. My husband is ready to kill me. His comment is "Most people would say hmm weird, and never give thought to it again" I on the other hand OBSESS about it. Is it some death sign? Im terrified now. How does blood make a > near the bottom of her leg and then run a line of blood? I get the line, but the >??? I am so scared this is like some sign that something bad is going to happen to me. So much that I have had 0 patients for my kids. It has taken 100% of me to focus just on me and keep myself from going into a full blown panic attack.
I would love ANY input, advice, anything. How do you make the brain stop? How do I stop thinking about it? How do people just blow stuff like this off??