Glad you had a good vacation but somewhat saddened that your anxiety returned . . . let me ask you this . . .why do you think that you had a good time? what was different about how you looked at reality while you were on the holiday versus now that you are back home? Often if we can identify what was happening when we did not have anxiety, then we can use these insights as tools? Everyone's toolkit is different depending on what makes them move past their specific version of anxiety . . . . you say that you are now questioning everything as soon as you step outside of the house . . . did you do this on your vacation and if not, why do you think this was?
Recovery is not easy so please do not feel hopeless and definitely do not feel useless . . . you need to look at what you were doing to relieve anxiety during your vacation and then work to incorporate this into your day-to-day life, hopefully working with a trained professional . . . .you are assuming guilt for ruining your and your family lives, but you are not . . . you are experiencing a health issue and you are working to deal with it . . . so, please, no guilt because in this case it serves no purpose, no hopelessness because there is always hope that rests with taking one small step at a time, and definitely no self-evaluations of being useless because contrary to being useless, you do have the strength to make recovery happen for you . . . .I wish that I could provide you with more concrete steps, but I can let you know that we are a very willing forum and if any of us can help in any way, well, know that we will do our best for you . . . keep in touch . . .take care, kc