its been a long time since i have been here, because i have been coping ok but sometimes i do not.
i found out i have an adrenal mass i have a thread somewhere on it. after watching my aunt and father die of cancer in the last 3 years that really kicked
my worries into overdrive.
i am in current diagnosis for cushings disease. its VERY hard to catch and it can take years to confirm and get the mass removed.
aside from that i have crawling thoughts of it being cancer from another part of my body but i have had so many tests and an mri ct scan enough blood drawn to feed dracula for a year... i am SO SCARED about everything...
aside from all that-im having to cut down and possibly wean from my anti anxiety pills.
yeah i self medicate naturally sometimes.i think it helps alot. but sadly my state dont.....im rocking back in fourth every day afraid ima get a call or letter from the dr. .the urine tests are just bam bam you get them thats that.
id like to go out and scream and tear up cars but thats not something im able to do so i come here...