I have been partially sighted now for three years and this year, much more than in the past two years, I am feeling very depressed and insecure about the increasing rejection and negativity towards me from a number of friends, some of who are almost lifelong. In one case I have suffered pretty nasty bullying on social networks and regard this friendship as totally over.
However it is not just this person; I have been though hell this year, with the majority - yes, the majority - of my friends giving clear signs of rejection or pulling away. On top of that, a woman whom I had been dating for several months, albeit not too seriously, reacted very negatively to my revelation of sight loss and rejected me almost straight away after telling me that I had been "let down by a number of people close to me." On top of that, at a writers' group that I attend the group host has been very hostile to me and seemingly dropped me from the group, telling me at the last meeting that "you get compassion fatigue". I don't want compassion, just acceptance. Not surprisingly, I am feeling desperate and have the kind of feeling that you get after a bad breakup - I think it is grief; my heart quite literally aches. And this goes on and on and on, and the worst thing is that last year was so much more optimistic. I had another close female friend last year whom I saw a lot of and who has aggressively rejected me this year, and yet another lomgstanding close female friend, who is disabled, who has now found a boyfriend and is treating me in a subtly rejecting way. I have had enough and am on antidepressants. I feel depressed and lonely, and quite frankly, devastated. The worst thing is that about 80% of my depression has been caused by other people - let's be more frank, by people that were/are supposed to be friends. Oh yes, and my brother, whoa announced that "some people just can't deal with it" NONE of this has come from the wider society and I attempt to hide my sight loss as much as possible. I get treated best by people who are unaware of this issue and as soon as people find out they change, yet I live in fear of being found out and the insecurity is killing me. I feel very alone - in fact I have never felt lonelier - but I am trying hard to make new friends.