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Author Topic: My mother has bipolar and is emotionally abusive.  (Read 351 times)

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Offline jessica92

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My mother has bipolar and is emotionally abusive.
« on: August 19, 2013, 01:24:36 AM »
Hi all. I'm just looking for a bit of support and insight here. My mom has bipolar disorder pretty severely. She's always blaming everything really mean she does on her bipolar. I have bipolar too but I take responsibility for my actions. She constantly calls me a horrible person, or tells me I ruin things, or tells me I'm lazy and will never get a job when I graduate college. The worst part about this is that she completely denies everything she said when I tell her that it was hurtful. This really makes me feel like she doesn't care.

Another thing she does is scream really loud and stomp on the floor. We live in an apartment building and when she does these things, I remind her that the neighbors are probably annoyed. She says she doesn't care, but then if the neighbors are loud she starts screaming about how disrespectful they are. She always blows things way out of proportion and has a weird cyclical view of everything. That is probably one of the more difficult parts to deal with. By this, I mean that she will tell me option A and option B, but either one I pick is apparently wrong. There are NO right answers to some of her questions or "orders."

She's also always changing "rules" without telling me then getting mad when I break said rule. For example, she used to leave the sugar by the coffee maker and one day I put it there and she started yelling at me and telling me it goes in the cabinet now because I'm stupid and always get water from the sink into the sugar container. Fine, move the sugar container, but tell me about it and don't freak out at me over nothing. Another rather annoying thing she does is talk about how "busy" she is. She gets disability and literally just plays computer games all day. She gets mad if I tell her she's being lazy, and she always tells me I'm much lazier than she is. I'm a full-time college student with a part-time job... I'm NOT lazy. I just really hate the fact that my mom acts like an immature young teenager. I feel like I am so much more mature than her, which is ridiculous.

Also, she gets really close to being physically abusive. Recently, she tried to punch me, but stopped about an inch from my face. I was really terrified. She also told me that she would punch me if I was really bothering her (but of course she denied this later). Super messed up.

I'll probably be living with her until I graduate from college (about 4 more semesters). I don't really have anywhere else to go. The only two places I have to go would be my boyfriend's house (but he lives with his semi-abusive aunt who is kicking him out in a year anyway), and my grandpa's house. I lived with my grandpa for a few months but I was not comfortable at all. The only plus side of living with my mom is that she understands my depression & anxiety better than other people like my grandpa and other family members. I just want some support and some coping mechanisms for living with my mom. I live really close to my school and am hoping to spend most of my time there starting in September. But when I have to be at home I want to know what to do. Also, my mom isn't always like this. Occasionally she is nice for a day or two, but always ends up going back to being manic. Thanks.
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Offline Cilantro

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Re: My mother has bipolar and is emotionally abusive.
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2013, 03:16:07 AM »
Reminds me a little bit of being at risk for gaslighting:
http://theweek.com/article/index/239659/what-is-gaslighting
http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Gaslighting.html

It might be good to read up on for future reference.
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