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Author Topic: Feeling Incredibly Worthless  (Read 574 times)

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Offline CantControlTheFear

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Feeling Incredibly Worthless
« on: July 10, 2013, 11:15:59 AM »
My father is Bi-Polar. He is NOT normal at all.

On Monday night I got into a really bad car accident. I'm lucky to be alive. But my father only cared about the car and how are insurance will go up.  He didn't even ask if I was ok until 4 hours after the crash.

Today I went to the dentist and found out I have 2 cavities between 2 teeth so it's technically 4 teeth and I need my wisdom teeth out. He just screamed at me about it. 

My mother is upset about everything and is just constantly reminding me about how I'm 20 pounds over weight, how I don't look good, how I keep messing up.


It's just so hard to want to continue when every morning I wake up feeling so worthless.
Sleep is the only comfort I seem to have. No one hates me in my dreams. I'm taking sleep aids every night to try and sleep. But I'm getting less and less.  I just also am losing m appetite... maybe it's from depression maybe I'm just trying to eat less to lose weight.

I'm working 3 jobs to try and help pay for the car and the teeth but after the summer I will be out of money and I don't know how I will support myself during the college school year. I'm taking 18 credit hours and have so little time as it is, I don't know if I can get a job on top of it. 

Everything just keeps happening and I don't know how to cheer myself up.  Each day is worse and worse. I don't want to leave bed, I don't want to eat..... I don't want to be home.  I feel so worthless and I'm so lost. I have no idea what to do.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Feeling Incredibly Worthless
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2013, 06:13:10 AM »
May sound a bit odd. But how about a talk with your parents. Straight forward questions. Put them on the spot. By way of say ' Look I do exist '. Tell them you want to talk to them. Sit them down. Then ask them do they care for you as parents. It will be like a bombshell to them. You can point out why you are asking. That you did crash the car. You know you did. But the car seemed more important than you to them. And this is making you question things. It is confusing you. Just guage their reaction. Then I would view theraphy options. Maybe college offers some form of counselling. Because you need to get your thoughts sorted out. Make put a bit of structure in your life. I know you want to work. But try and allow time for yourself. Maybe join a few groups. To meet like minded people. With the same interests as you. It may show you that you are not alone out there in the world. No matter how bad things may seem, there is always a road back. We just have to work hard to find it. Don't give up just yet. You sound like a fighter. Use that fighting spirit to carry you along. Make something of your life. It can be done. Just need to believe in yourself.
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Offline KitCathy

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I'm sorry
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2013, 10:44:52 AM »
Hey

I understand where you are coming from. I am feeling the same way myself right now. I can't eat, sleep, or smile. I am draggng my feet around.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope that you have a friend to talk to about it and distract you. If not I'm here to talk to..
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Offline nickwick

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Re: Feeling Incredibly Worthless
« Reply #3 on: July 15, 2013, 04:01:35 PM »
I remember my parents going through depression.. it's a hard time. You can only hope that this condition is temporary, I did not recognize them anymore. Luckily they're both healthy now. It just takes nerves to see someone like this.. I wish you the best of luck
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