Trying to figure life out...

[shadowgirl]

Hello Everyone! 

I've never posted to a forum before, so bear with me please :-)

I am 26 years old - Wife, Mother of 2, and Business Owner - you could say I'm really busy!  I'm the type of person, where your first impression of me, is that I'm a very organized, multi-tasking, and happy individual.  Some people compare me to Bree on Desperate Housewives, which even though I like her character, I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment!  Other people have called me snobby or stuck-up, which is far from the truth!  I am probably one of the most non-judgmental and open-minded people you'll ever meet :-)  I do have a hard time opening up to people I don't know very well - I am cordial and polite, of course, but someone has to know me a long time before they get any insight into what really goes on in my head! 

If I had to diagnose myself, I would say that I have GAD and OCD.  I have never sought out the help of a therapist or medication, because I have been blessed with an amazing family support system and felt that I could "just deal" with my stress.  However, the past year has brought so many stressful situations (family health scares, business frustrations, financial, worries, etc.), that I am starting to feel like I can't ever let go of the stress and just "relax".  My symptoms?  Perfectionist, prone to anxious/worried feelings, headaches/muscle tension, need for clean and orderly spaces, rechecking to make sure the door is locked, sleep problems, brain is running/constant thoughts, etc.  As the stress has increased, most of these symptoms have gotten worse.  Overall, I am very happy!  I love my family, have hobbies that I enjoy, and usually don't even realize I'm stressing out until someone tells me I need to calm down, stop worrying, and breathe...  Anyway, I just really want to find a way to get in control of this stress.  I'm not against therapy or medication, but I would rather try to do something on my own.  I'm hoping that by posting here, I can maybe hear some other people's experiences or suggestions that might help me.  I thank you all in advance.

Shadowgirl     

[anxious_brit]

Welcome!

I think the best way to start trying it on your own is getting some good books on the subject of anxiety. There are a lot of then that explain how to cope, how to relax, etc..

If that doesn't help then finding a therapist who speciliazes in anxiety is always an option. I wouldn't resort to medications personally. That's only my opinion. I know a lot people on here take then, and it can make a big difference, but if you can learn how to cope now with anxiety the better off you will be.

[Dune]

Welcome to the forum ShadowGirl

I can relate to many of your concerns but I wouldnt be so hasty to diagnose yourself with GAD and OCD - dont label or medicalise yourself (just yet). I wonder if you're really not just stressed out. Perfectionism and OCD dont go hand in hand. You can have obsessions and compulsions but that doesnt mean you have obessive compulsive disorder, many people make this link too hastily. Conversely people can have compulsions to do things over and over but they arent perfectionists.

Perhaps you just have very high personal standards and an ambitious nature which causes you to systematically seek to overachieve in all you do - subsequently leading to burn-out? Perhaps you take too much on but then worry about fitting everything in and doing it all 110% well? Im not saying you dont have anxiety but I really wonder from your post if you have either anxiety disorder or O-C disorder.

I think you need time off the treadmill. You need 'me-time' - I say this with insight and experience. I think you have the chance to stop your burnout actually giving you GAD, I wasnt so lucky. Sometimes I think its really important to separate DISORDER from CONDITION - to not medicalise ourselves.

Our bodies under high stress give us so many clues which we often ignore at our peril. Grab this chance to analyse your life and make the necessary adjustments to avoid futher nervous progression. But I think you probably already know these answers...the problem is many of us dont want to compromise our lives...we want to carry on at the same high speed and hope that some technique or drug will allow us to do just that.

I say all this because the easy option is to default and say you should speak to a doctor, consider meds, etc, but I really dont feel you need that - I think you have the answer inside you, an answer that can prevent a disorder from developing.

I dont mean to be presumptuous, I'm just giving my opinion - try to cut the high levels of stress out of your life and I think your outlook would rapidly turnaround.

Dune.

[Celine]

Try a cbt group or read the book by sam obitz and start doing the tea form exercise and the putting things back into perspective exercise in it and I think that will help you. You probably only need to read the middle section with the tools because unlike me you probably won't relate to the parts about coming from a dysfunctional family. The tools in the middle are the key to relieving anxiety and stress but you need to do them everyday to get the maximum relief. Hugs 

[littlemiss_anxious]

Shadowgirl -- your description of yourself is a lot like me!  Apparently we have the EXACT personality type that is more prone to anxiety disorders.  I can't give you much advice as I'm still working through my own issues and I'm not quite there yet.  But, it could help to try CBT or even a yoga class is amazing...it teaches you to BREATHE!    It's good that you're keeping busy, though, as I think too much time makes your mind start reeling and it's downhill from there.  As long as you take some time for yourself -- you CAN do this without medication.  I am not on meds and refuse to go on them (although they work for some people) because knowing myself, I think meds will just add to my problems.

Good luck and welcome!   

[Celine]

Yoga and cbt together work greatr for a lot of people