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Author Topic: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence  (Read 1558 times)

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Offline Musicman400

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Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« on: June 26, 2013, 10:00:23 PM »
For the past 5 months, I've been under this paranoid and extremely anxious over my own existence. I am paranoid about fearing 'Life' and by worrying about this I suddenly feel trapped like there's no escape. Worried about fearing sight, everything around me and feeling trapped. It's very scary and I feel so alone. I don't suffer from panic attacks and when I do panic I keep it very well hidden, I get the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, combined with shakey hands, sweaty palms and the feeling of no escape and nowhere to go and nobody to help me, but I never get full blown panicky to the point of struggling to breathe which could be maybe somewhere deep down telling me I'm just being silly?

I suffer from dizziness and off balance problems, I also have had spaced out feelings, like being disconnected from everything. I used to get what is known as 'Alice In wonderland Syndrome' (basically where the everything you see looks far away or looks too close up and peoples voices are louder than usual and you start to hallucinate) now I just get the feeling of everything is far away from me and I think all this has set in the works of fearing everything the sight around me, because these experiences have left me scared, terrified, confused and in fearing experiencing these again I have been left feeling alone as nobody else was seeing what was seeing and feeling what was feeling. But as I said this all became worse 5 months ago after another one of these dizzy episodes (which usually would come now and then) and everything looked far away and spaced out and then I got worse over the day until the point where it's gone from getting them occasionally to getting them almost all the time.

I always feel light headed and when I'm out, as i'm moving away from my room (which is my safety net) I feel like I'm (the only way to describe it) like i'm climbing up a ladder, going higher and higher and that feeling you get when you look down and the feeling you get when you know you're getting further and further away from the ground. I also feel too exposed and too 'free' (but not free if that makes sense) when I'm away from my room, like part of me is disconnected from another part of me that is out, sort of like the feeling of floating into outer space, it's all very scary which then brings on the feeling of everthing looking and feeling far away, which then again incorporates why I feel too exposed and free...


But my biggest fear at the moment is being paranoid about fearing life, it's almost laughable to someone who wouldn't understand so I keep it very quite but I feel like i'm living in hell.  I can't remember the last time I've been excited for anything, last week I had woken up and started panicking about everything I saw around me and I had this overwhelming feeling of being trapped.

I realised over the years I've slowly been becoming more and more worse to the point where my room is my only safe place, but there are times when even my room isn't a safe place and I feel the only escape is meditation and mindfulness.

That all being said, I don't seem to suffer from social anxiety and the way I act people would never guess I have all these paranoid thoughts and anxiety.

I just need help and advice  :(


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Offline Recovering Viking

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2013, 07:50:12 AM »
Hi!

I experience the same thing as you do. It's strange, I never expected to hear other people having this issue as well, but you do, so we are not alone!

What the "diagnosis" is or isn't, is not up to me to speculate on, but what we experience sounds very much like derealisation.


Don't worry too much about it. The physical universe is real and people around you love you. Open your heart and maybe try to give back to people in need (charity).

Do some practical work, work with earth/dirt or wood.

Get fresh air and talk to people every day. Locking your self up, at least for me, makes me get into phases of derealization.

The physical universe is real and it's a fun place to be.  Being compassionate and caring, loving the people around us, and being human is very helpful.



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Offline tinam7

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2013, 08:20:50 AM »
In my view these hi-tech times can rob us of ourselves, our minds, our souls. Except for self help sites such as AZ I'm thankfully into none of it. Try to stay connected to myself and nature with daily walks. Also into yoga every day.

What I'm really picking up on is your mention of meditation, big in my life. There is an interesting thread you may want to explore in GAD category. You are not alone, we try to help each other. There is much hope. You might also want to explore CBT. Wishing you the best.
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Offline Musicman400

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #3 on: June 28, 2013, 07:27:59 PM »
Thankyou for the kind advice!  Glad somebody else is experiencing this. It's so strange and you feel so alone, just don't know what's going on with me. I hope to get mentally stronger and less anxious soon :/
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Offline sunshinita

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #4 on: November 03, 2013, 07:04:45 PM »
wow I know this topic is old but..
" I've been under this paranoid and extremely anxious over my own existence. I am paranoid about fearing 'Life' and by worrying about this I suddenly feel trapped like there's no escape. Worried about fearing sight, everything around me and feeling trapped. It's very scary and I feel so alone."
I feel exactly the same,every word..
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Offline Musicman400

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2013, 10:43:52 PM »
I'm so glad somebody else can relate ! It's horrible isn't it :/

Sorry for late reply, ain't been on this in a while, had a small anxiety attack just before thinking about it
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Offline Jasmine84

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2014, 03:02:12 PM »
I feel the same way.I feel so disconnected to myself and the "real" world its like I'm constantly living in my head and I can't deal with reality at all.I feel so trapped like there is no way out...it's the scariest feeling.
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Offline jimthegent27

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2014, 11:41:10 PM »
I was just recently diagnosed with GAD and this is one of my symptoms that has scared me the most.  I am so relieved that someone else is feeling similar things, although it is unfortunate that others know the feeling. 

My first panic attack that caused me to seek help was heavily based on derealization.  I didn't know it was a panic attack, or what a panic attack felt like and I thought I was going insane.  The very question of what was real and what wasn't scared me so much because I knew that there was no way to prove anything was real.  The term "I think, therefore I am" echoed in my head for hours and I was terrified.  Now I am afraid to think about anything deeply in case it leads me to start overthinking things again, which is what led me to experience that panic attack. 

It has completely uprooted me, and now I am trying to figure out how to cope with my own self. 
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Offline kristinsanxiety

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Re: Anxiety about fearing the whole concept of existence
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2014, 10:07:20 PM »
Yep, me too. Can't read through whole post because it's triggering. I distract myself from the thoughts until they go away.
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Tags: anxiety paranoid 
 

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