Newbie - Help with Panic Disorder thats recently started

[steveyo]

Hi,

Im a 28 year old Male who has recently started getting extreme cases of anxiety which sometimes break into a panic attact.

It started a few months ago when I was in a meeting and I started to feel incredibly uncomfortable then I broke out into sweats and had to leave the meeting. Since then I have found that any situation I am in where its unknown I start to feel incredibly anxious which leads to feeling really hot (my face goes bright red) and I feel very uncomfortable.

This has caused my some serious problems with my work as I am struggling to take meetings with fear of what may happen... I recently went on Holiday and at the airtport I started feeling the same, once I was on the plane I was fine, I have no fear of flying and have taken many flights in my life.

I also had a Panic Attract on a train to london to the point where I actually thought I was going to die (I understand this to be a common symptom). In the end I had to cancel the meeting as I was not in a fit state to be able to make the meeting.

I am concerned as Im not sure what to do, the doctor initally prescribed me with 2g of Diazepam, but I'm not happy about taken these long term and do not want to rely on drugs to get me through.

I have a meeting on Thursday and just the thought of it right now is making me nervous and fear of the meeting. This again is odd as before that first meeting I had no fear of meetings???

Im not sure what Im asking for really but hopefully someone will be able to advise me on what I can do to assist and help me going forward.

Thanks

Steve

[Cuchculan]

These things don't just begin for no reason at all. There had to have been a start. Now, having said all of that, the start could have been just you feeling eneasy at one meeting, and come the next meeting, you remembered that first moment and thought to yourself ' what if this happens again '? That can be the start of things at times. We get an idea into our heads and we let that idea grow. Until it controls us. I am just curious to know if there have been any major changes in your life over the past few months? Again, just trying to find out why this all begin. Because I don't think it just came out of nowhere. Work may have become stressful of something? You may had deadlines to meet. It all built up upon you. Or where you always nervous as kid talking to people? Anxiety can be the hidden killer. It can stay dormant for years. Then appear again. As if out of nowhere. To find the root cause would be great. Where it all began and why it all began. Because then you could deal with that.

An understanding on how it all works might help. We find ourselves in a certain mood. That mood leads to a thought. That thought leads to a reaction. The reaction brings on our symptoms. So we try and change the thought process or the reaction and the rest will simply fall into place. There is also fight or flight. We do one or the other. We stay put and fight it oe we just simply run from it. The most common reaction is to run from it. You want out of there as quickly as possible. But to stay put is not a bad idea. That would be exposure. In your situation it would be a lot harder. With exposure we start off small and work our way up. It is bit like learning how to ride a bike. You never forget. The skills are still there. You just have to learn them over again. And that is were you are at right now. You know you have managed meetings in the past. So you can do that. But it is just a fear now because you had an anxiety attack at one and it moved onto the next one, etc, etc.

I am amazed that you were fine on an airplane. Heck I would cringe if I had to fly. So it shows you can still do things were there are lots of people. If you could just use those same skills you use when flying in your meetings you would do great. I am not sure if you have ever spoken to a therapist. They would just and try and find out the same answers I am trying to find out. But they would also teach you new ways to cope with things. So it may be worth looking into.

As for your medication? That type of Benzo is more just a muscle relaxant. I take a small amount of it. Only when needed. You might need something to get you back on your feet. Though people have overcome such things without medication. I am not one of those people. I am a walking medicine cabinet. That is something only you can decide upon.

I know I have probably left you with more questions than answers. But as a rule I would suggest to start off small and work your way up using the exposure method. But that is hard to with work and meetings. Not sure if you get something to take your mind off of things at the meetins? Something as simple as an elastic band. You feel an attack come on, you sling the band, in a private way. Get your mind back on the meeting. Or even one of those balls you can buy. Carry it in your pocket. Not odd to see a buisnessman with his hand in his pocket. May help you. Just forms of distraction.

Can only wish you the best from here and I hope some part of this has helped you out.

[steveyo]

Hi Cuchculan,

Thanks for your quick reply.

In general Im a very sociable person, often the center of the party etc and before this never had an issue with groups of people etc.

My Nan died quiet suddenly in May of which I was very close to her, I was the one taking her to the doctors/hospital for 3 years and so I feel that this may have had an impact - I actually went to a therapist and they thought that this could be a possible cause??

I have certainly tried to face all my fears and when I get an attack I have done my best not to run, although the meetings I have not been able to cope with as you can expect this is not something that I can easily get up and leave.

Are there any ebooks etc worth reading that can help me move things forward?

Thanks again for your support...

Steve

[Cuchculan]

Sorry for the slow reply. The site keeps crashing for some unknown reason.

You can see if you can find a book called ' Mind Over Mood '. I know they have a site all about the book. I found it a great book. It is one a therapist would use. I also agree that the death could have had some impact. Hence I mentioned any sudden changes. That is how they can all begin. Any roads. See if that book is out there for download. I have a hardback copy of it in Ireland. Well worth a read and a lot of exercises that you can do too. To put you back on track. Good luck now.

[jane134]

These things don't just begin for no reason at all. There had to have been a start. Now, having said all of that, the start could have been just you feeling eneasy at one meeting, and come the next meeting, you remembered that first moment and thought to yourself ' what if this happens again '? That can be the start of things at times. We get an idea into our heads and we let that idea grow. Until it controls us. I am just curious to know if there have been any major changes in your life over the past few months? Again, just trying to find out why this all begin. Because I don't think it just came out of nowhere. Work may have become stressful of something? You may had deadlines to meet. It all built up upon you. Or where you always nervous as kid talking to people? Anxiety can be the hidden killer. It can stay dormant for years. Then appear again. As if out of nowhere. To find the root cause would be great. Where it all began and why it all began. Because then you could deal with that.

An understanding on how it all works might help. We find ourselves in a certain mood. That mood leads to a thought. That thought leads to a reaction. The reaction brings on our symptoms. So we try and change the thought process or the reaction and the rest will simply fall into place. There is also fight or flight. We do one or the other. We stay put and fight it oe we just simply run from it. The most common reaction is to run from it. You want out of there as quickly as possible. But to stay put is not a bad idea. That would be exposure. In your situation it would be a lot harder. With exposure we start off small and work our way up. It is bit like learning how to ride a bike. You never forget. The skills are still there. You just have to learn them over again. And that is were you are at right now. You know you have managed meetings in the past. So you can do that. But it is just a fear now because you had an anxiety attack at one and it moved onto the next one, etc, etc.

I am amazed that you were fine on an airplane. Heck I would cringe if I had to fly. So it shows you can still do things were there are lots of people. If you could just use those same skills you use when flying in your meetings you would do great. I am not sure if you have ever spoken to a therapist. They would just and try and find out the same answers I am trying to find out. But they would also teach you new ways to cope with things. So it may be worth looking into.

As for your medication? That type of Benzo is more just a muscle relaxant. I take a small amount of it. Only when needed. You might need something to get you back on your feet. Though people have overcome such things without medication. I am not one of those people. I am a walking medicine cabinet. That is something only you can decide upon.

I know I have probably left you with more questions than answers. But as a rule I would suggest to start off small and work your way up using the exposure method. But that is hard to with work and meetings. Not sure if you get something to take your mind off of things at the meetins? Something as simple as an elastic band. You feel an attack come on, you sling the band, in a private way. Get your mind back on the meeting. Or even one of those balls you can buy. Carry it in your pocket. Not odd to see a buisnessman with his hand in his pocket. May help you. Just forms of distraction.

Can only wish you the best from here and I hope some part of this has helped you out.

Excellent post, Cuch!
Another good book is 'Hope and Help For Your Nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes. I also have panic disorder and it has helped me a LOT. Take a look on Amazon. I bought a used copy for pennies! Good luck.

[annemc]

Oh Steve.........I feel you. My first ever panic attack was in a meeting and I struggled for a long time in a job that had constant meetings. I often would tell myself before hand, I am going to this meeting. I can doodle like crazy while looking like I am taking serious notes. I will sit there and be fine. The WORST thing that can possibly happen is that I need to excuse myself and go to the bathroom. Really, how bad is this? Happens in meetings all day long all over the world. At times I did use a benzo to get through the meetings. Over time I and practice I got back to my old self (almost anyways:) I find now that its not really the meetings that are bad, its the hours/days/weeks of "what ifs" in my head about going to the meetings!

I would suggest going to the library and looking up panic disorder books. There are so many good ones. I really like Claire Weeks as previously said.
Hang in there and KEEP GOING to those meetings!!

[manda266]

I do know where you are coming from, it's a vicious cycle. The fear surrounding the place where you had your first panic attack is pentuating the panic attacks. I had my first really horrible panic attack in a store, in the check out line. From that point on I could not go through a line without fighting off panic attacks and was left with daily anxiety and panic. It's so difficult and my sympathy goes out to you. You must learn distraction and relaxation techniques when faced with a situtation that is known to cause panic for you, such as during meetings. I have never taken Valium, but it is a benzo in the same class of Ativan, which I take. Valium does have high abuse potential, but if it is helping you, I would continue to take it. If you are truly fearful of taking the medication do to fear of becoming addicted, perhaps you could ask your doctor for ativan which has the lesser potential for addiction. Your physician may have come to the conclusion that you needed a more potent medication though, thus the script for valium 2mg, so I would continue with it.

[steveyo]

Hi,

Thanks for all your support its been really helpful, Im doing my best to get through this and challenge myself with doing things that I find not to be comfortable. I think the worst things is the fact that I get so hot that my face goes bright red and I start sweating a lot - if I could control that I think I would be getting better.

Again thanks for all your support its really helpful.

Steve

[junnabett]

Take deep breaths and calm down. do yoga it helps!

[esp]

I think they can start fairly quickly.

I was on a golf course on a beautiful day with my best friends and it hit for the first time..

I went to a mall the next day and almost ran out of there in such a panic I could barely breath..

feel quite a bi t better now by remembering that if I could make it through then I can do it again. I'm in the middle of a relapse as I just got elevated psa numbers and have to see a urologist.. Man I thought i'd never have that pacing/panicing again..but it got me..

what I mean to say is you can beat it but you cant let your guard down..

good luck

[hre2stay]

I do know where you are coming from, it's a vicious cycle. The fear surrounding the place where you had your first panic attack is pentuating the panic attacks. I had my first really horrible panic attack in a store, in the check out line. From that point on I could not go through a line without fighting off panic attacks and was left with daily anxiety and panic. It's so difficult and my sympathy goes out to you. You must learn distraction and relaxation techniques when faced with a situtation that is known to cause panic for you, such as during meetings. I have never taken Valium, but it is a benzo in the same class of Ativan, which I take. Valium does have high abuse potential, but if it is helping you, I would continue to take it. If you are truly fearful of taking the medication do to fear of becoming addicted, perhaps you could ask your doctor for ativan which has the lesser potential for addiction. Your physician may have come to the conclusion that you needed a more potent medication though, thus the script for valium 2mg, so I would continue with it.

Just thought i would correct you on something. Ativan has a very high dependency rate possibly higher than valium. As it has a shorter half life (stays in your system for a lesser amount of time) this can lead to very intense cravings. Also it is a much potent benzodiazepine than valium. 1mg of lorazepam = 10mg of diazepam.