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Author Topic: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv  (Read 988 times)

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Offline elle

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Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« on: March 26, 2013, 09:30:19 PM »
Okay this is hard to write down.
I have a specific phobia of female nudity and/or over sexualisation in media - tv, adverts, films, music videos, newspapers, magazines..
But specifically, encountering it when with a boyfriend.
It comes up a lot, as anyone who encounters media will know.. though most people I talk to seem to be normalised to it and barely notice it.
I don't watch films/tv that I don't know/trust with a boyfriend anymore. I can check imdb for if there's something triggering in things but unfortunately there often is so we watch a lot of animated films.. they're my 'safe' films. It's harder to avoid when it's tv, and awkward if friends invite us to watch a film.
If I do find myself watching something which I think will upset me, I can't stop thinking about that impending moment and I get anxious, generally getting warm, fast heart rate, chest pain.
If I get stuck and it happens, say a topless scene, I sometimes just can't think of anything else for the rest of the whatever it is, and get the anxious feelings above, and thoughts which start at insecurity, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, feeling stupid for being triggered by something which I can't avoid, and sometimes leading to suicidal feelings.

I came here first wondering if anyone else experiences this particular trigger? I've started telling my friends these things but they don't quite understand, and are often very very shocked that this is something that bothers me so much.

And also, what can I do? I was seeing counsellors for a few years, but in the long run nothing was happening. I just want to know if there's anything (apart from extreme avoidance) that can help with this phobia in the short term while I try and figure out the long term abandonment and self esteem problems.

Thanks to anyone who read all this, it was hard to word.
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Online tinam7

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2013, 06:04:18 PM »
Frankly I think you are way above the crowd, have sensibilities whereas many others have lost them. I come from an earlier time and what is going on is over the top as far as I'm concerned. It seems to be a thing of the past that it is our brains that set us apart, not our bodies or our bodily instincts.

You worded this very well, give yourself credit and, I'd say, try and avoid it as best you can. It is yet another sign of a sinking culture. But we don't need to go under with it. We can preserve our values and feel good about them. It is courageous of you to address it.
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Offline Annonymouse

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2014, 07:50:02 PM »
I feel the same and totally agree with the Tinam7!! I guess you feel bad about it cause when you told your friends they didn't get it, makes you feel like you're wrong about something, if they don't feel what you do then they won't understand either. Pple have lost sensitivity now. What I do, is avoid, I tried to get used to it but it made me feel bad so why get used to something that will do you wrong?? Tv is not the same anymore, pple want something related to that, thats why I avoid and when I do, I don't feel bad  :bigsmile:
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2014, 09:55:04 AM »
I think sex and sexuality can't be avoided in this day and age. It is all but thrown in your face everywhere you look. This is people's idea of been more open about such things. Trying not to be their parent's generation. Unless you lock yourself away there is no way to fully avoid it. So working with your therapist on what it is about it that you don't like and trying to see that for the most part is it harmless. I say ' for the most part ' because I am aware that some people are out for shock value and they can use sex and sexual images in the wrong way. Were it kind of makes it look like an ugly thing. We also have those magazines that like to make young teens seem more sexual. That to me is wrong. Telling them that this is how they should look and that certain things are acceptable. In young teen magazines this is just not right. I do think people should know about sex and be educated a lot more. But not flooded with it. Music videos, films, TV adverts, so called novels ( 50 shades of grey ). You can't blink these days. It is all around us. Older people try and make us ashamed of it. Which again I think is wrong. Two different age groups. Two different opinions. To try and stir clear of it would be a very hard thing to do. We can't simply close our eyes to age we live in. That age seems to have sex everywhere in one shape or another.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2014, 08:24:06 AM »
Well, I've been thinking and thinking. You make some good points, as you always do in your fluid writing style. What you say is generally on target, but I see another side.

Why must nature's callous, yet seductive drive to reproduce be given center stage and thrown into our face? Why not the far more interesting brain we have sitting in our head? The mysterious psyche sitting in our conscious and subconscious? The mysteries of life philosophers try to unravel? Maybe the older generation did not have it so wrong after all. Keep the private private. Its public thrust can be avoided with some awareness and effort. If we rebelled and the stuff does not sell, it would soon disappear. Wishful thinking, but we are not all powerless.
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2014, 09:49:42 AM »
Think about an age before sex was a common place thing. Think of Sigmund Freud and his writings. Most of his theories were about men dreaming about what they could not see. Whilst it wasn't as public as it is today, men still craved such things. What they couldn't see they imagined. You had the Oedipus complex as well. Mother and son. Again based around sex. The cravings of the human mind. I would imagine thought out because women were covered nearly head to toe. Any other form of clothing was not acceptable back them. Today it is all on show. So the mind no longer has to wonder. I think it was always there. Just more scorned upon in the past. Some of the clothing worn today I would not even class as clothing. Some females wearing a belt as a skirt and a matching bra. That is how they dress going out clubbing. I certainly couldn't imagine them back in Freud's day. Wouldn't have lasted a minute. Thus we are back to the age we now live in.
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Online tinam7

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2014, 10:06:27 AM »
Why could they not see? Poor Freud, he needed to buy Martha (wifey's name?) some fancy lingerie or nighties and he could see all he wanted.....in his home, for goodness sake. So why defend what passes as "clothing" today?

Why accept what goes on now? The women esp. are idiots displaying themselves, must be freezing in these temps, must be in pain wearing these ridiculous skin tight jeans and workout tights. Freud was on to the all powerful drive. Must it rule us?
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Online Cuchculan

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2014, 01:43:23 PM »
You know I did joke with a friend once in saying I must be getting old when I am more worried about the health of these girls today as they head out wearing next to nothing in bitter cold weather, as opposed what they look like in the outfits. Some I just look at. Talking temp in the minus and they are in what is classed as a skirt. To me it is more like a thin slip of material as it hardly covers anything at all. Then the skimpy tops to match that show nearly all. They must be freezing out there.  :laugh3: They have to be. Either that or stupid. Blokes are similar. T-shirt and jeans in the middle of winter. Suppose they think they look good. Which is what it is all about in their heads. Bless them. As they brave the elements.  :laugh3:
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The Lovable Irish Rogue

Online tinam7

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2014, 08:19:20 AM »
They even sit in studios broadcasting news barely covered, while the men have their shirts and warm suit jackets. You'd think they'd have some brains. In yoga some of them have these tight shoe string tops. In one class there is a guy who throws his stuff around, keeps peeling clothes off but manages to stop in time.

You could become a good samaritan and hand out coats in freezing temps.
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Offline Sylvanas

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Re: Fear of female sexualisation/nudity in films/tv
« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2014, 08:58:21 PM »
I know exactly what you are talking about. My issue comes from my BDD. If you want to talk to someone feel free to send me a message. Tho unfortunately, I could use some advice's the same as you as for dealing with this. And honestly I don't really think there is a short term solution :/
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I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past me I will turn to see fears path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing......Only I will remain

Tags: phobia anxiety sex beauty 
 

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