Yesterday

[Adecus]

Hi everyone/anyone,

I've been reading these forums for about a week and have known i've had SAD for about 6 months. I've had this problem my whole life. It didn't affect me when I was young but as life progressed, especially high school and beyond, I felt dread in almost every social situation I encountered. This caused me in high school to drink a lot and that made the problem worse of course. A viscious cycle ensued, etc. etc. But I managed to get through university and get a degree in computer science (even though it was very difficult at times, but not entirely horrible, high school was worse). Now that i'm out in the real world and have a job and have matured some, I know I have a problem. Being at work for the past year has been extremely difficult for me. I am never able to talk to my co-workers and I think they avoid me because I display anti-social behavior. And I don't blame them. If I was in their shoes I wouldn't want to talk to someone who was unfriendly either. I always feel like everyone is judging me and evaluating me. This causes me great anxiety and stress. Even though I logically/rationally know that they are not judging/evaluating me.

But anyways, what I wanted to talk about was yesterday. Yesterday I made it my mission to not feel any anxiety. Every time I was presented with a social situation and my anxious response began I would stop myself and think for a minute. Why am I getting anxious right now? Is there any logical reason to feel that way? And the answer was no of course. So over and over again throughout the day I would keep stopping myself when I got anxious and telling myself the logical reason why I shouldn't be anxious. What happened? I stopped feeling anxious. Just a little bit at first but then more and more as my mind became less and less clouded with negative thoughts. This gave me true inspiration that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I think that over time I will be able to rid myself of these negative, incorrect thoughts and have a positive, true outlook on life which will in turn cause my anxiety to cease. Because I know that when i'm thinking correctly about the world and I see things as positive and good, my anxiety goes away. I certainly don't feel anywhere near 100% cured. It's just that little 5% cured that helps me feel a lot better. It makes me realize that life is actually great, not horrible and difficult.

I hope this story helps someone else realize that it's not impossible to get away from anxiety and that the human mind is plastic and able to change if you figure out a way to allow it to. You just have to figure out what works for you.

[cagedin810]

that's really awesome, man...when people like us can see some truth it's so strange how it's all in our thinking, but the reality is also there if we look extra hard.

yeah, im in highschool now and i seriously feel like this is the worst possible time of my life i could be affected my social anxiety.
i quit about a week ago, as much as i want to continue my edu. in a normal enviorment...but i like hearing stuff like this, and i'm gonna dedicate my day to talking myself down/out of anxious feelings. 

[Adecus]

I really think for me its about believing truths about the world rather than falsities. I think my social anxiety derived from beliefs based on falsehoods. Over time I believed these false things and it caused me anxiety because I always had the wrong impressions of every social situation I entered. For example, as soon as I would look at someone, before I even spoke a word to them I would think they were thinking about how awkward I looked. As words would come out of my mouth such as a greeting I would instantly be scrutinizing myself and wondering if the person I was talking to thought I sounded weird. Those beliefs are incorrect. The majority of people do not think this way when they approach someone. Nobody scrutinizes people like we think they do. However bad you think the most embarrassing situation in the world would be it would only be about 1/100th as bad as you think. This is just one of the countless falsities that did and to an extent still exist in my life. I believe people with social anxiety are riddled with these false beliefs and they cause us stress/anxiety because that's the way our mind thinks. It's very difficult to get away from something that is ingrained in your self. But you can. It just takes effort and time. The way I see it, if it causes me anxiety, more than 99% of the time it is something based on falsity. Unless there is some logical reason that something should cause me anxiety, I need to work on that falsity to cure myself.

I'm sorry to hear you quit school but hopefully you'll go back someday soon with confidence or find some other alternative for continuing your education.

Talking myself out of anxious feelings worked for me. But it was only when I truly believed that people aren't judging/scrutinizing me that my anxiety began to go away.

Btw, i'm still obviously not cured and I feel anxiety most of the time. But this method is working for me and I am noticing improvements and my life has became easier.

Adecus