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Author Topic: Obbsessive thoughts  (Read 488 times)

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Offline michael198

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Obbsessive thoughts
« on: March 26, 2013, 06:08:09 AM »
Hi all, ive been taking trazdone for anxiety (obbsessive thoughts they think) and slight depression and periods of crying, feels like im going nuts at times and sleep problems loads of thoughts at night. The first few weeks were great, however between mid jan and now, i think the trazdone has made me alittle delusional is that possible. Anything i see or read my mind tries to fit it into my life right away. Or believe what ever i see or watch. eg if someone said they thought someone was watching them, i would instantly think it to. Or if i was watching something on TV eg twlight i would think are there really vampires, will they get me. I know deep down but its like my mind wants to believe everthing, And i dont think i was this bad before the trazdone?

Its starting to bring me and my family down, as when i have wierd constant thoughts, and if i dont tell someone i feel uneasy.
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Offline Cheesus

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Re: Obbsessive thoughts
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2013, 05:16:14 PM »
Well, in all instances I would recommend evaluation, especially regarding your continued use of the this medication.

However, I can tell you that I have been where you are now and these are not delusions. That is not what a delusion is. A delusion is a strongly held and enduring conviction that persists in the face of definitive evidence to the contrary.

For instance, a member on this forum who often frequents the chat room has schizoaffective disorder. He has told me that even when medicated he still believes that there is a war between good and evil going on and he has been sent to fight on the side of good. He told me its difficult to explain, but that even though he knows its part of his disorder, and he has a lot of therapy to help him cope with it, he still believes it as a normal fact as much as you and I believe we breath air and speak English. It's non-debateable.

Another example would be a good friend of mine who told me she could walk through walls. This wasn't up for debate. She said 'I know you won't believe me, and I'm not going to do it, but I can walk through walls'. All the reason on earth could not have planted the tiniest seed of doubt.

What you are experiencing is a fried mind that is delving deep into introspection. After my friend told me that story about her believing she could walk through walls, I wondered if I thought that too for a very long time. I thought so long and hard about whether or not I thought it, that I wasn't sure what I believed anymore. This is not a delusion. A delusion would be me fully believing I could, not me questioning my beliefs and reasoning. You would not have caught me walking into a wall expecting to pass right through it.

Another example of this for me, which happened around the same time, was wondering if I thought I was being watched by the government or whatever. I didn't believe that I was being watched by the government, I just wasn't sure that I didn't believe it.

I could give you a list of these as long as my arm. At the worst my mind would conjure them every which way I looked. You name an odd, abstract, contrary-to-all-reality type thought, and you can bet that I've probably wondered about it and obsessed over it. These include wondering if I thought I was a lizard, wondering if when I was walking upstairs I was actually decreasing in altitude, wondering if I thought my thoughts were actually other peoples', feeling like I had just performed an action that I had just watched someone else do. The list goes on.

I've told probably 6 or 7 healthcare professionals about this, including 3 highly experienced mental health care professionals. All of them confirmed to me that this was a symptom of my anxiety and of my particular fear which was of developing a psychotic disorder.

Did I ever develop a psychotic disorder? No. Do I still have these thoughts? Once in a blue moon, but they don't make me anxious and are very momentary.

Seek an experienced mental healthcare professional to assist you in addressing your anxiety, and also visit a doctor or psychiatrist who can evaluate your medication. If you come across an ignorant healthcare professional (there a plenty of them about) challenge their assessment and seek other opinions.

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