my 7 and half years is over

[180mac]

first time i been to a site like this , but am needing help

my ex broke up with me friday 15th march,after 7 and a half years  the only reason she gave was her feelings have changed , everything was going fine , i have a almost 4 year old daughter to , i miss them like crazy , now i cant get hold of her wont pick up my calls messages or emails , her family are turning her agenst me for some reason i dont know ,
i tryed ending my own life this week twice but police stopped me , i took pills , and was found waitting on a train , i dont know what to do , am trying my hardest not to think of it , i aint slept or eatting right since this happend , i cant get the thought of her being with someone els , or thought of someone being a step dad to my child that i have seen every day since she was born , am trying to carm myself down , i have even had my car took from me from a friend so i dont drive , i serously need help , and sitting in a police station cell so i dont hurt myself aint the answer , i have no home no money , i have a place to live till monday then am back on the streets , am realy trying to cope with all this but i cant do it am crying all the time , something i dont do , what do i do , as lots have said the same , chin up be strong , easy to say to anyone , never in all my 37 years have i had to ask for help , but am thinking of my daughter and i need to cope for her sake , my family was my life , , i dont drink or take drugs but i do smoke , i did smoke about 10 aday now i chain smoke , would like to have advice as this is ripping me apart , sorry i went on but i have no one to talk to ,

[tinam7]

First, I am so very sorry for your awful situation. Sometimes I think relationships are a contest of selfishness with friendship and caring and loyalty to say nothing of love, almost non-existent. Of course we know next to nothing but you were not lucky in the person who came your way. Maybe she did you a favor and you can look at it that way. You have rights to your child but you must tend to yourself. All is not lost. You have yourself and the chance to develop yourself.

Find your community resources and make the most of them. The best revenge is to live well. Hope this motivates you to fight for yourself. It's what some of us learn only the hard way. You can learn it too and reclaim your life.

[180mac]

thank you for the reply , i am trying by best , i seen doctors and other people and its not working for me , am at a dead end how can i talk to her about anything if she wont talk back , i cant live with this pain at all i been with 3 girls in my life and am 37 , last one was 12 half years and she cheeted on me , i was more angry and got over it , this one i have my child , i did nothing wrong , why am i the one thats feeling this, its riped me apae

[180mac]

thank you for the reply , i am trying by best , i seen doctors and other people and its not working for me , am at a dead end how can i talk to her about anything if she wont talk back , i cant live with this pain at all i been with 3 girls in my life and am 37 , last one was 12 half years and she cheeted on me , i was more angry and got over it , this one i have my child , i did nothing wrong , why am i the one thats feeling this, its riped me apart , ,i feel am going to do something stupid that could land me in prison or dead , but this is a feeling not what am going to do , i feel someone has took my family away from me , and i want to disroy them for it , i want them to feel what am feeling , all i do is think stupid stuff and dont know how long am only going to think before i do it , am a mess

[mommabear]

I'm so sorry this is has happened to  you. I love what tinam7 said " The best revenge is to live well" how true that is. You have plenty reason to go on, you have a wonderful child, who needs you to be happy, and healthy both mentally and physically. Break ups can be very, very difficult but we move on from them in time. I certainly hope she does not keep you from seeing your child.....unfair and cruel for the both of you. If that were to ever happen, you go to court and fight for you and your childs rights. I really have no advice to offer, but I really hope that things start looking up for you. Hang in there.

[tinam7]

So good to see support, MB. Now, mac, cheaters will be cheaters no matter who they're with. You don't need or want them. You'll find the person with the values that match yours.

But first you must work on yourself to strengthen yourself without anyone else. It can be done, takes work, effort, persistence and can actually be a nice adventure. A look into your early years, your development, your interests, abilities, will give you understanding and direction. Focussing on others leads nowhere. Focussing on yourself is the yellow brick road. Try your library and read up on CBT. You will learn positive self-talk, about gaining confidence and an all important sense of self-worth. No-one else can do this for you. Only you can.

Well, I'm shortly off to the gym and to yoga class. It is wonderful to see more and more men than ever joining in. Whatever you can do in exercise will go a long way on the right path. You'll forget about the cigarettes too (joking). You know we want the best for you.