Life is too scary/depressing...

[firebird3428]

I was looking at things on youtube, I see a beauty guru who has cancer, I got news that someone I know pretty well at my church has MS. All this is too much to handle, too much sadness. It's too hard. I have hypochondria, depression, emetophobia (fear of throwing up), I get obsessive thoughts at times, I can't imagine dealing with chronic or life threatening illnesses. I came down with a sinus infection a day ago and I'm already getting better, but even then I fear for the worst. I'm 20 and I want to live my life and do so many great things but all of these things that could possibly happen scare the living day light out of me. How do you live without being scared and depressed all the time? I'm Christian so I talk to my Christian Therapist at times, and I pray a lot, but this sadness and lingering thoughts just can't go away.

I'm just very happy that all members of my family have lived past the age of 82 and have had no serious illnesses.

[Pippy187]

Hello. Like you I have a lot of scary thoughts and it makes keeping a positive outlook hard sometimes. I get to see a lot of disease and dying in my like of work as a paramedic.... I have to tell myself these people are a super small percentage of the population. It makes it tough day to day. I do a lot of distraction techniques.

[Tiredofbeingexhausted]

Tell me about it, its so tough. Its hard seeing people so happy and careless. Life is so fragile, I'm afraid of everything too.

[Allochka]

Hello,

it is very sad to hear about your struggles and depression. You are only 20, you should enjoy your life! I would like to disagree with previous poster - life is not THAT fragile at all! Actually, people love life that much that when they face health challenges - they don't give up, they fight for their lives and succeed! people beat cancers, people with MS live long and happy lives!
And after all - count how many healthy people you have around you. You' ll get 99% of healthy, and maybe 1% of the unfortunate ones. You know, people die in car crashes all the time. Does it mean we should stop driving cars, be afraid of them?  Of course not. We just should not think " I' ll crash"  during every car ride.
Please stop worrying about what your future could bring health-wise. Worrying won't prevent bad things from happening. You' ll just won't allow anything GOOD to happen to you that way. You should not think " how I'd deal with the the illness" ? Most probably this will not happen to you at all. And if it does - you'll take care of it then.
If your current therapist is not very helpful - maybe you should search for another one?  Life is beautiful, and the way you live it is not right. You have to change it. Assume that your depression and health anxiety ARE your serious illnesses - and struggle with them. You' ll prove yourself that you are strong and can deal with anything.