Hey. Thanks for the reply. Sorry for the double post. It is difficult to be clear and concise.
I understand that I wrote about a lot of different things. I didn't mean to sound like, I want to talk to every girl out there (on elevators or whatever).
I've actually had dates with people I've met in such avenues as waiting for a bus. What I meant to say is, I need to be outside of clubs. I dislike them, plus I quit drinking. Anyways, I am currently in the midst of joining such a club, that I am interested in. I meant to say how to deal with approach anxiety. I do get attention sometimes, but I can't make a move, because there are other people around. Hence, I am better one on one (another reason that I dislike night clubs). Anyways, there are several areas of life I want to change. Really, it comes down to success.
When it comes to taking an interest in the supposed partner, I do that. I've never been selfish in my relationships/ friendships. I've always been giving. Of course, you can't give to everybody. So, if I am not getting anything in return (namely honesty and mutual feelings), then there isn't a point. I am a conversationalist, at heart.
When I do step out of my comfort zone, people seem to like me... but I really only need a few close friends. So, while I want to meet people, I really don't at the same time. I know this is contradictory. I got majorly screwed over several years ago ( I know it's a part of life), but it's very hard to trust/ invest time and energy in people, ever since.
I was just wondering, how does one get over approach anxiety. In groups, with drinks, or if I have at least one good friend (and the rest are strangers), I can make very reasonable and enjoyable conversation... giving the impression that I am enjoying my time. At the same time, I kind of feel out of place, nearly everywhere. I am also cognizant that if I am not going anywhere with these people, rather than just "having fun / relaxing", then I am taking myself off of my path. I've lost a lot of time, and I need to make sure I don't lose anymore.
I'll admit that I was in confusion a few years ago... but I've changed so much about myself, that really only anxiety remains. And some other things, that I can't change yet. I know that nothing happens over night.
Also, my interests are not necessarily to be discussed. Philosophy, school, career, humor etc I can discuss. However, I can't just get into all the projects I am involved in... especially at first. I think it's best not to let everyone know everything.
I just don't know IF someone is worth my time or not... And then usually when I do get to know someone, I realize they aren't. I know that if you don't try, you can't tell. I guess there's nothing wrong with some "bad relationships". You can learn a lot in any relationship. I'm not trying to rush into one. I just don't know if I'll always be alone. And if that's where I'm headed... how can I change that? It seems that I never made a move til it was too late, or now, people just don't understand me if I actually like them or not (sometimes I've been told that). At the same time, girls say a lot of crazy things... so who knows what anyone really wants/ needs? It seems that dating in a major city is just a stream of hookups and short-lived flings and people manipulating each other for instant gratification or even emotional support (that is not returned). If that's how it is, then I'd rather be single.
Thanks for your good wishes.