new member, need some advice on "high" anxiety days

[wishful_thinking]

Hello Everyone!

I'm new to this forum. I have been living with anxiety for 7 years now. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety and OCD. I have learned to control the anxiety (for the most part), and have started to enjoy aspects of my life again. Although I can somewhat control the anxiety, I still get sever panic attacks some days, which actually have a detrimental effect because it puts me through a cycle of self-defeat and negative self-talk. This usually pushes me back into a cycle of sever anxiety and depression for a few weeks. I came to this forum to try to figure out how others have dealt with the very bad, or "high level" anxiety days. I am able to control the "low level" anxiety days, but have no tactics for the "high level" days. Any advice would be great!

I've also always wanted to go to law school, and have studied countless hours for the LSAT exam. I know that I can do well, as I have scored fairly high on my practice tests, and tutored my friend for his exam, but every time I think about writing the actual exam I have a panic attack and don't write it. This is the only thing holding me back, and I'm wondering how others have dealt with high anxiety around specific tasks. I have been avoiding the exam for 2.5 years now, so I decided to force myself by registering for the upcoming sitting, but still panic every time I think about it.  I am not worried about the exam itself or the content; I panic thinking about the number of people in the room, and feelings of being trapped, which stem from my social anxiety. I have registered at a smaller test center (which still has about 60-80 people), but just knowing that I will have to sit in that room for 5 hours with all those people makes me very anxious and makes me feel sick.

I tend to avoid rooms with large crowds, especially if I have to sit in the same place for a long period of time. I haven't even been to the movie theater in years, and skipped any classes I had in large lecture rooms. I have no idea how I will be able to sit through this exam. I feel trapped if I am forced to sit for a long period of time in a group of people, which makes me feel like the room in closing in on me, and I can't breathe. I'm wondering how others deal with these feelings? My exam isn't until June, and I'm trying to learn to build the skills now, so I will be ready to handle the crowd on test day.

Thanks for your advice!


 

[Pippy187]

Hello, welcome to the forum... Sounds like you share a lot in common with many folks here on the forum. I currently work as a paramedic .... High stress environment :/  I use a lot of distraction techniques I come on here and chat or post on the forum... Play video games and excercise.  Like you, school was out on hold with me.  I hate places I feel I cannot get out of.... I guess that feeling comes n goes, anyhow.... Welcome to the forum :)

[josondo]

Hi, I'm new here but can very much relate as I was studying for the MCAT, which is a med school admissions test.  I had all the info down fine and like you was doing well on practice exams.  I was about to take the test but kept holding off for assorted reasons.  Now the idea of taking it seems completely nerve wracking, like I couldn't even just sit in the room during the test let alone take it and do well.  Heck as bad as my anxiety has gotten, driving to the test center would be a challenge.

All I can reccomend would be to maybe start tailoring your study to mimic the testing environment, especially as you get closer to your test date.  Maybe start studying in a public place with similar lighting and ambiance to your LSAT testing center.  You could even study at the same time of day as you are going to take the test.  Also, I'm not sure how the LSAT is structured, but you could set up your study time into similar time segments. Basically imo as far as anxiety is concerned, you don't want the test day environment to feel foreign, you want it to feel as familiar and routine as possible.  Also if they have a void score option that might help ease things as well.  And of course you could ease into it all maybe just going to a library for 30 minutes or less and then working your way up in terms of time. Of course there is always the pharmaceuticals as well.  I used to take beta blockers for presentations in college and they worked really well. Just some thoughts.

[sue]

Hello. I read your post. I can relate to your fear of the exam and social situations. My anxiety has been holding me back in career terms for a long time now. I get anxious when i do contract negotions and settle for alot less than I deserve. I have always been passionate about writing but have put it in the closet for fear of what others may think of me. I also really struggle with social anxiety and often shake and perspire in social situations because I am so ridden with anxiety. People notice it and I become even more self conscious. Social anxiety, from what I can understand, is all about thinking something bad will happen in the social setting. So think about what the worst possible thing that could happen, happening and think of how to counteract the scenaria with more 'realistic' thoughts of probability and remedy. If thought processes wont help then i reckon you go the pharmaceutical route. I hope that you can overcome this and do really well in your exam. Best of luck

[wishful_thinking]

thanks for your advice, and comments. Sometimes it's just nice to know that other people face similar challenges as it makes me feel less "alone in all of this"

Josondo- I will definitely try your advice in recreating the testing environment during my prep. I have tried this before, but usually get anxious even going to the library. I guess I will try to sit in the library for short periods of time, then slowly increase it until I can sit there for the entire 5 hours. Were you able to overcome your anxiety and write the MCAT?

[josondo]

thanks for your advice, and comments. Sometimes it's just nice to know that other people face similar challenges as it makes me feel less "alone in all of this"

Josondo- I will definitely try your advice in recreating the testing environment during my prep. I have tried this before, but usually get anxious even going to the library. I guess I will try to sit in the library for short periods of time, then slowly increase it until I can sit there for the entire 5 hours. Were you able to overcome your anxiety and write the MCAT?

Unfortunately not yet. Although I had been putting off taking the test for non anxiety related reasons,  coming down with bad anxiety in the last year has made me postpone the test even moreso.  Once I get my health all in order I hope to return to it and take it.  I figure if it takes me a year or so to get the anxiety under control then thats nothing really in the big scheme of things.  I studied a ton for the test before coming down with anxiety and would hate to have all that studying be for nothing.  I'm in such a bad shape now that just taking it seems like it would be a big accomplishment in itself.

But anyways I'm glad you found my ideas helpfull.  I really think easing into the environmental simulation will help.  That's what my approach will be.  These exams are pretty rigorous so I guess some test anxiety is expected given the difficulty and length of the tests.  But I know how it is, it seems normal test anxiety for someone without major anxiety would be like a 3-5, and for us its more like at a 7-10 level.  Maybe the exam itself will work as a distraction and you'll be so involved with the test itself that you don't even get to think much about the anxiety and  that 5 hours will end up feeling like 5 minutes. 

Anyways good luck with the test and I hope to hear you took it just fine and even aced it.