has it really been that long?

[bridetobe]

According to my mothers calculations I have had anxiety for almost 15 years, starting when I was very very young. Anyone else have memories of it starting this early?
I am sitting here (still having my year long heart attack) my husband is saying that I need to learn to breath. I never breathe through my mouth and my nose is congested which he blames for my shortness of breath. Anyway...... I was just wondering how far back you all remember actually having anxiety. In my memory this started about 4 years ago but my mother was reminding me of some times which would make it much much longer than that. She said as far back as sixth grade my teacher spoke to her because I would have these near panic attacks (more childish panic attacks involving crying and extreme fear rather than the ones I occasionally get now..I actually don't get too many panic attacks moreso constant heart anxiety). She also pointed out that when I was little, like very young I had a constant fear of people around me dying. This was before cell phones so if my mother took too long at the store I assumed she had either had a car crash or some horrible thing happened in the store. I also had to go everywhere with my parents after my little brother was born, not out of jealousy but because I was terrified he was going to be lost or kidnapped. I find this so odd because I had an extremely wonderful and normal childhood. My family does have anxiety I am told very very badly on my mothers side. My grandfather is on medication daily in his 80's for it ( he actually could not come to my wedding because it is so severe) and I am told his mother was almost confined to the house from hers later in life. I am only 24 now.  Did anyone else have anxiety this early?

[wegngis]

I am sitting here (still having my year long heart attack)...

You and me both...

[bridetobe]

Isn't it the worst!? I guess if it were going to happen it would have happen already! There are some days my only symptom is left arm pain.

[wegngis]

My mind says I'm ok.  My body says I'm dead.     It is the worst, and it's a daily struggle.

I'm sorry you've dealt with this since you were a child.  I've had trouble over the years, getting progressively worse each year.  Last year was my tipping point, I feel like I'm slightly better than one year ago mentally.  My body needs to catch up.

[eddarun]

I've haf anxiety for as long as I can remember.  I remember being 6 years old, crying all the time because of this strange "feeling" in my tummy...I was so miserable and I was afraid to walk alone home from school, afraid of going to sleep...my parents kept asking me what was wrong but I couldt answer because i really didnt know.  No one even thought that a 6 year old could have anxiety...

[Slangevar]

When I was six, I learned about concussions. After I bumped my head one night (not badly), I spent an hour staring at my pupils in the mirror. 

Yes... HA can start very early. Most docs believe that HA that starts that young is actually a form of OCD, so those meds may help you. I've tried to manage mine through OCD therapy tools and exercise.  It's going all right, but as Wegngis said, it's a daily struggle when I'm not in "remission".

[bridetobe]

Mine has always come and gone. It has actually never lasted this long, but then again I had a lot going on. Right when I got my clean bill of health I became pregnant. So my hormones were working against me, not to mention my form of therapy was a few glasses of wine and bedtime to help me sleep which is gone now due to the pregnancy. Now I guess I can keep telling myself I am fine since I have had this for such a long time. I would not think a heart attack would last this long, it wouldn't be months of warning signs it would be almost a year of constant heart attack.. call the guiness book of world records everyone :) ( i guess laughing at myself is good right) My dad tries to stay in good spirits about it since he really doesn't understand my anxiety when I call him and tell him I think I need to go to the ER he'll say things like ok dr so is this like the last time when the dr checked your heart and instead of admitting you immediately with serious concern wrote you a prescription for pills to relax you. He also reminds me that the left arm I am always say is in pain in the same arm with the wrist I broke twice, once without ever properly getting fixed. ( yes I was a dummy who refused a cast for prom so I suffered with a broken wrist until it healed wrong.

[Slangevar]

You're absolutely right... a heart attack wouldn't last a year.    It sounds like you've logically sorted it out: You've been exposed to some crazy hormones, which can cause a spike in anxiety. AND you have an old injury to your left arm, which makes it a poor judge of whether something is wrong with your heart.

You missed one other thing: The chances of a woman in her child-bearing years having a heart attack is VERY low. Your hormones are naturally protective against it. 

Hang in there and listen to the logical side of your brain - it's figured it all out! 

[bridetobe]

Right before I was married in July I had blood work, and echo, and an ekg which all came back perfect  they were my second perfect set of those tests so I guess now I am forced into acceptance.  ALthough I still get those days of the oh no this one is different THIS IS IT! but I guess thats par for the course. I find it incredible that I am not the only one in whom anxiety started so early!

[wegngis]

ALthough I still get those days of the oh no this one is different THIS IS IT! but I guess thats par for the course. I find it incredible that I am not the only one in whom anxiety started so early!

Are we twins?  Seriously, I deal with this daily.  You'd think I'd get used to it, but no.   

[bridetobe]

haha what are the chances of twins both having heart problems?! not like the statistics matter to ha sufferers!! It's a daily struggle. The pain goes from my arm to my jaw to my chest to my teeth and neck. My dr wont even do anymore testing on me no matter how much I cry or beg. I am 24 and my husband is almost 40. He is slightly overweight (blames my cooking of course), smoked for a number of years and has a high stress job. He gets chest pain quite frequently and when I went for my testing he also got testing. My tests all came back perfect his however were slightly abnormal so the dr sent him for further testing. I never told him but I was honestly a little jealous of his testing. I begged the dr to give me a nuclear stress test, even a regular stress test and he refused to give it to me. Just like when I went to my dr with all of my ms symptoms and she refused me an mri after I passed a neuro exam with flying colors. When I told my mom I wanted to switch drs she begged me to reconsider. She swears I will keep dr shopping until I find one willing to tell me something is wrong and cut me open.

[Catesykes]

I have. It went away for periods of time but apparently according to my mum when I was 3 I had a stomach bug and after that I kept saying I had a tummy ache every day. Mum had been investigated by the doctor and he told me I was fine and she said I was fine after that. It came back aged 23. And again now aged 31. Anxiety runs in my family too. 3 out of 4 grandparents had it very badly. No chance for me then!!

[Catesykes]

*me* not 'been'
Also, my mum was late picking me up from a ballet class when I was also 3 as her car broke down. Again before cell phones. I panicked and thought she'd never come... I think that was the start.

[bridetobe]

My mother was never late. I remember her parking her car in this certain spot everyday because she would always come really early to wait for us. And god forbid she didn't get that parking spot. I would freak out because I thought she wasn't coming. I remember now that she said it being in the 6th grade my brother was in like 1st I think and my mom pulled into a different spot and I couldn't see her. I freaked out. I cried and begged my teacher to go downstairs to get my brother so he wouldn't be alone. Yep! Overreacted there.  My mother was always very cautious with us, not crazy so but like I always had the earliest curfew and wasn't allowed to walk home from school until I was a little older but nothing too crazy so I can't blame her.  I just always assumed the worst with everything. I remember when all that 2000 end of the world stuff was happening. You would assume our religion teacher would try to tell us that the world wasn't ending and all that stuff. NOPE her exact words were and I will never forget this, "Well no one knows" ok so it can be tomorrow, she said It can be whenever god wants. Now as an adult this makes sense but as a 12 year old terrified of all the horrible tabloid truths coming true.... NOPE. I would beg to stay home from school every single storm because I though the dark skies indicated something bad. Now a days I have turned all that fear into heart fear.

[Slangevar]

bridetobe - your story about your mom sounds like my sister. My OCD took the form of HA... my sister's took the form of anxiety over something happening to someone in her family. She still gets nervous when we fly. :-)

[bridetobe]

My anxiety about things happening to my family still comes out sometimes, like I am very cautious with my daughter and get nervous when she goes anywhere without me, although shes 4 and at that age they do wander off and I am a young mother so that definitely has a little to do with it to. Like mentioned with the stomach aches by mother said I never just had a stomach ache, or just a head ache it was always SOMETHING even when I was little.

[mollyfin]

I've been at this since I was a little kid, too.  At least a quarter century.  I heard that tingling arm was a symptom of a stroke on the news...guess what I started feeling that night, and pretty much every night from there on out?  I also remember worrying that if I didn't keep moving my heart rate would slow down and eventually stop, but I'm not sure if that counts as HA or just being a dumb kid