Help. Help. Help. Please. I'm desperate.

[HaileyAnn]

I'm sorry. I'll try not to make this very long but I don't think I can help it and I really, really need someone's help.

This weekend, my best friend came up to visit and we stayed in a hotel. We had a wonderful time. I had a panic attack once on Saturday night, but she helped me through it and we had so much fun.
The panic attack came really suddenly, and usually I don't really know what causes it, but this time while I was panicking all I could think about was that something bad was going to happen to her. Apparently when I got at my worst I was just sobbing out a jumbled mess about all the things that could happen to her to prevent me from ever seeing her again. "Car crash, falling down and hitting your head, walking into the crosswalk, getting hit with something, you could get jumped on your way home, or...." etc etc etc.
Well after she calmed me down, we went to bed. When we woke up this morning, she whimpered a little and said she felt like she needed to throw up. I asked if she needed me to hold her hair back but she said no. She went into the bathroom and I fell back asleep. When I woke up, she was sitting on her bed and holding the back of head. I went over and she had a bump literally the size of a softball. She said that she had no idea what happened, that she thinks she passed out and hit her head on the edge of the bathtub. She called her mom and told her, because  her mom was going to come up and get her anyway, and then we waited and put some ice on it until her mom could take her to the hospital. She started feeling a little more "with it" I guess, but she went to the bathroom to throw up a few more times. The last time she went in, I heard a loud thump and she didn't come back out. So I called her name, and them screamed it, and ran in.
She was lying facedown on the floor. Her hair was covering her face and her head was under the sink and her legs were at odd angles. I bent down and shook her, but she didn't respond. She was breathing so shallowly at first that I couldn't feel it at all and I thought she was dead. After I started sobbing and shaking her enough, she came to. Her mom took her to the hospital.
I'm sorry. That was longwinded.
The point of all that is this:
All my fears have been validated, and now I've been having multiple panic attacks every hour all day because I have never been so scared in my entire life. I feel like it was my fault, because I fell asleep the first time and maybe I could have helped her...
I'm in between panic attacks right now, but I feel another one coming on and I just want them to stop, I want them to stop but I can't and I need help because I am just so scared. Someone please tell me what to do. Pleasepleaseplease. I know she's okay now, but now I feel like there are too many bad things and they're all going to happen and too many and I ust need help. Please.

[Mr. Rager]

First off I want to say I'm very sorry for your friend and I hope she is okay.

Let me assure you this was all nothing but a coincidence. Anxiety manifests itself in a number of ways one is in your thoughts. Thats why so many of us get chest pain and freak out of having a heart attack or worry about brain cancer when you have a headache. These thoughts as horrible as they are are normal. I and many others have them all the time. I worry about my family getting sick or getting into car accidents too. I hate it. I just want you to know that thoughts don't validate anything in reality. What happened to your friend was unfortunate but don't for one second think it happened because you thought something bad. YOU and your actions are in control of YOU, your thoughts control nothing.

Have you ever considered CBT ? They help you at ending these cycles of bad thoughts and it has helped me put these thoughts in perspective. Let me know if you have any questions ! Things will get better !!

[HaileyAnn]

Have you ever considered CBT ? They help you at ending these cycles of bad thoughts and it has helped me put these thoughts in perspective. Let me know if you have any questions ! Things will get better !!

Thank you for responding. I've thought about therapy very seriously, but my family is in pretty serious denial about how bad my problems are and I don't think I could afford it by myself.

[Mr. Rager]

Have you ever considered CBT ? They help you at ending these cycles of bad thoughts and it has helped me put these thoughts in perspective. Let me know if you have any questions ! Things will get better !!

Thank you for responding. I've thought about therapy very seriously, but my family is in pretty serious denial about how bad my problems are and I don't think I could afford it by myself.

My parents are the exact same it drives me insane. I think it could really benefit you. It has no side effects and it certainly cant make you worse. See if you can work out with your parents maybe your therapist can meet with your parents and explain what she thinks you're going through so they can learn.

[HaileyAnn]

I'll see if I can try it. Thank you so much. I just need to try something.

[viennarose]

I'm so sorry that happened to you and your friend. I know that it's hard not to blame yourself (especially when you have anxiety.) I just want to let you know that it truly isn't your fault.  It's good to hear that she's okay, and now that you know that you need to help yourself. I have similar thoughts to you sometimes, being afraid of bad things happening that are out of your control. As for the affordable counselling, I'm not sure where you live but if you go through your local hospital they sometimes offer group therapy that your medical pays for. I hope you feel better now, and I hope your friend is alright as well. <3

[HaileyAnn]

I'll look into that if I can. Thank you so so very much.

[avnostlga]

I'm trying to get into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy classes too.  I've heard good things about them in dealing with anxiety in the immediate, and since it seems when I need help, I need it just for a few minutes to cope with the situation.  I hope you can get into some classes.  What did the doctors say about your friend?

[HaileyAnn]

I'm trying to get into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy classes too.  I've heard good things about them in dealing with anxiety in the immediate, and since it seems when I need help, I need it just for a few minutes to cope with the situation.  I hope you can get into some classes.  What did the doctors say about your friend?

She has a concussion, but not a bad one. We still don't know why. She already feels fine and keeps trying to calm me down. "It was just a freak accident, Hailey. No big deal. Just a freak thing." But it's never happened before and that's why it scares me so much. Freak accidents are even scarier than health problems, you know? Less predictable. And you just never know about them. It's horrible.

[Island]

Sorry to hear u had an attack, I get them too, but we need to push through it

[nassostephanie88]

I'm Sorry about everything that happened. I have bad thoughts all the time that pop in to my head for no reason, then sometimes I just Panic because I feel different or weird  . I Feel like its never going to end.

[Fable8]

I find myself blaming myself for anything that happens to a family member or friend i always ask myself what if i where there to help or what if I had found out earlier but the truth is we cant do anything to change the past no madder how hard we may try we simply cant its hard to do but you just have to except that what happened happened and we cant change it but we can change the future we cant dwell on an event that we had no control over it because we simply don't know what would have happened if we where there to help i know it seems almost impossible to do but try not to dwell on it because i have also tried to play out every scenario in my head of what if so you're not alone on this