Spouse of someone with anxiety

[gw781]

Hi,
I just came across this website when I was doing a google search to find advice on how to deal with anxiety, but from the spouse side of things.
I don't have anxiety myself, but my wife does. We have only been married for 5 months, and together about 3 years. I love my wife, but I know I get frustrated at times with her and I don't always deal with it in the right way. There are lots of times that I do remind myself that I'm fighting (I do use fighting as "lack of better term") against the anxiety, but there are times where its either too late and I let my frustration get the better of me, or reminding myself doesn't help. I want to be there to support her, and do whatever I can for her.
I thought that maybe this might be the right place to come to get some support.

[Nevercalm]

First off I would like to say- you are an amazing person for trying to understand her anxiety and help her!! There are to many people these days who just think its to hard and back out... it's really sad
Let her talk to you about it, make her tell you whats wrong and just support her .. she honestly has to go through it and overcome it on her own but support can help immensly.
It's going to be hard on you... it really is but you could suggest going to a therapist together to work through it all and figure out what the best approach is to help her.
My spouse is quite supportive of my anxiety and I will tell you it is one of the most important things to me... it helps me so much and the fact that he helps me and believes in me helps me snap out of it and realise I am hurting him and making him miserable.. he is my rock to hold on to when i feel like im about to lose it... and it makes me realise how irrational im being and makes me better.... i know its sappy but it is one of the most important things to have the support of someone so close to you :)

[gw781]

Nevercalm Thank you.

While I know that I'm not the only one, its still good to hear that I'm not the one going thru this.

Funny that you should say going to a therapist together... we did do that for the first time this week. I went pretty much only because she asked me too. While I personally didn't take much out of it seeing as it was a first time for me going to a therapy session, and I was a little uncomfortable. But I'm not against going again.
It was her regular therapist that she took me to, and it was good for me if for nothing else than I am confident that he can help her. She has some brutal, so called therapists, in the recent past.

[Nevercalm]

Hey gw781

I have honestly only been to a therapist once... It's not my way of going about my anxiety.. but for some people it does help them deal with it and work out a plan for themselves to heal and think rationally.

How did the therapy go? did she feel better afterward ?

One thing I will tell you is try not be uncomfortable.. let it all out- tell the therapist things that she wont say and things that she doesnt realise she is doing. He needs all info to help her and to help both of you as a couple. As you get more used to it i am sure you will do this - i know it was your first appt

I hope you stick by her through thick and thin. It is not a choice to have anxiety but it is sooo nice to hear about someone who is thinking about this rationally and trying to help :) You don't know how much of a difference it can make to just be there..