Liver anxiety- help!

[VeryAnxious]

Hi all,
Just want to vent about my anxiety over my liver.  A little background- I am 30, healthy- no one has ever told me I have any liver problems in the past.  Aside from some intermittant R sided pain in my upper abdomen and back (which I am pretty sure is musculoskeletal) I have had no symtoms.

I drank a lot in college and graduate school, I would get drunk when going out with friends, and I had a few years where I probably had 2 glasses of wine per day most days.  Probably this spanned ?5-7 years? Recently it just kind of snapped in my head- 0103- I hope I didn't burn out my liver.

I search my skin for spider telengectasias, I look at my eyes to make sure they're not yellow, I poke SO HARD around my abdomen- it is usually red when I'm done and sometimes sore- I sometimes think I am feeling a liver, but usually I think it is muscle.  I have never felt what I think is definitely a liver that is enlarged.  I look healthy, and no one would ever know this about me.  When my HA flares up, it literally ruins my life and dominates my brain.  I feel tortured.

Sometimes, I cry.  I have a great life otherwise- a loving husband, great friends, a great job.  I'm sure no one would ever suspect my inner struggles.

Anyway- why don't I just go to a MD you ask?  I am terrified of getting bad news.   I already cut WAY down on drinking (no more getting drunk, will have only 1 drink a day and make sure to take a few days off a week- so basically within the guidelines of what is healthy).  I did have LFTs about 3 years ago that were normal.  I don't feel comfortable just walking into a MD office and asking for an ultrasound basically just to calm myself down.  Also, I have a long history of being fixated on various health problems over my lifetime- for a while it was geting an STD, then getting HIV or hepatitis.

Ahhhhhh- it feels good to let it all out.  Anyone have any coping strategies?   Anyone in the same boat?  I am afraid I am going to hurt myself with palpating my abdomen too hard!!  Please help me.

[Cheesus]

If you had any real liver problems I think you would know about it! Its not something you can avoid.

Having said that, people's livers function at different levels. Some have excellent liver function and some have slightly lower liver function that is still within the 'normal' range. The great thing about the liver, however, is that it is an incredibly resilient organ and with a bit of TLC you can get yourself into top working condition.

Below I will outline a few bits of advice for looking after your liver. HOWEVER, you should not carry these things out because 'you are scared you have damaged your liver and you want to heal it'. By doing that you will be perpetuating a fear. Attaining tip-top physical condition is a great aspiration, but it should never be done at the cost of your psychological health.

The liver is the first line of defence against screening toxins from the bloodstream. Therefore, it is all about what you put in your body. If you overfeed your body chemicals, alcohol or sugary, fried, processed or (unhealthy) fatty foods, the liver is going to suffer as it will need to work harder to screen these things out before they get into circulation. That is not to say that you can't have these things - a good working liver will do well to screen them out. But the best working livers are the ones that don't really have to!

Moreover, there a supplements you can take that have a positive impact on the liver. I am wracking my brain right now to come up with a list but the only one I can think of is Milk Thistle. The active ingredient in Milk Thistle (or the one we want for these purposes) is Silymarin. The action of Silymarin is to protect liver cells from damage and to also aid in their actual regeneration.

Often Milk Thistle will come mixed with other ingredients such as dandelion and artichoke heart. These do things such as increase bile production (my memory is still faltering here) which assists in regulation of the liver.

Other than that, try to avoid environmental toxins such as those put in our foods (a big one! - eat organic) and other pollutants. Moreover, as with EVERYTHING in the human body, stress is toxic and will need to be avoided (or minimised) as best as possible.

The liver does not function in isolation. It is part of a large overall system that is the human organism. You need to look after all your bits and pieces to really gain excellent health and wellbeing. The means feeding the body, mind and soul healthful things whilst also avoiding unhealthy inputs.

There's nothing better than a fresh, crisp day in the middle of spring when you have a bounce in your step and an enthusiasm about the world around you because you've taken steps to ensure your body is working the best it can be!

[trainwreck]

If you went to my doctor, he would not even do bloodwork to check your liver. 

What you really should do is print out this post and take it to a doctor. You are admitting that you have no symptoms, but constantly worry about it. You don't need your liver checked.  You need to get your HA under control. 

If they check your liver and tell you to quit worrying, you will be worried about another disease soon after.  That is your real issue. 

BTW, the liver is an extremely sensitive organ. Any malfunction is going to make you be obvious.  But I do encourage you to get to the doctor and get your real problem dealt with. 

[VeryAnxious]

Trainwreck,

Thank you for that post.  I know deep down in my heart this is true.  That is another reason why I would not go to a doctor about this- even more than the fear of bad news (which I know is my HA) I know that I would find something else to fixate on.  I never really realized this about myself until I started having fears about my liver- and googled symptoms-- and came upon a lot of similar fears from people on health anxiety message boards and the like.  I then looked back at my life and saw a pattern- my intense fear of cold sores, getting and STD, HIV---- I definitely have HA and also OCD tendencies in my life.

I will try and live a healthy life for the sake of health, and get my stress and HA under control- not because I think I have a liver problem and I need to protect my liver- but just to make my entire body well because that's the thing to do.

VA

[VeryAnxious]

Ahhhh- what a setback.  Was feeling so good.  Then just spent a couple of hours palpating for the left lobe of my liver.  Yes, you read that right. I am so frustrated.  This is ruining my life.  How do you cope?

[NeverAgain1]

OP -- Nobody would suspect your inner tensions. 

I want to suggest that these "inner tensions" are not really about the HA,  but about other things in your life.   HA is just your way of acknowledging your inner tension.  The RUP -- I had.  Had it bad. 

I had to address my life, and then I had to deal with things wrong and things stressful, and change things I could and accept things I could not and think different about them.

On a physical level you might be tensing your ab muscles unconsciously, which is a fear/anxiety response.  This will help to contract the various abdominal muscles and keep them contracted until you consciously learn to relax them.  For me, I was doing that all my life, and it eventually pulled me over like the bow in an arrow, effecting all sorts of muscles, tendons and nerves.  One last stressful event and the bowing finally manifested with the RUP and funny feeling on my side, which went undiagnosed and then dx (wrongly) as being caused by a disc herniation.

Suggested reading might be "Mental Health Through Will Training," by Abraham Low MD, "A New Earth," by Eckhart Tolle ( I suggest the CD's vs the book) and "Get Out of Your Mind and into Your Life," by Steven C. Hayes.    The first might be hard to find, but many libraries have it as well as Recovery International, which was founded by Low in the 1950's.

You are young enough where you can arrest the anxiety before it become worse as things and life gets more stressful.  You already know it is anxiety.  Now find out what to do to not become a life long victim of it.

Best.

[vardnas]

Stop poking yourself!!

It's not helping, trust me.

[sassparella]

I'm with Vardnas don't poke and prod.

[DiJoPa]

I'd just like to add that your liver regenerates every six weeks. 
Provided you don't abuse your liver, you're worrying unnecessarily.

There are any numbers of way you can better manage your health anxiety.
For me, I've found (3) things that work:
(1) Deep Breathing Exercises
(2) Listening to Relaxation tapes/cd's
(3) Meditation 

Find what works for you.
And, FEEL BETTER!!!