For the last 10 years, give or take, I have worked in health care. Presently I am a Paramedic. When i was in my early 20's I worked as a Care Aid in a school/hospital for Children with extreme physical and terminal diseases. I should also mention that I respond to disasters, such as the Haitian Earthquake and am completing a degree in Disaster studies.
So say my life is full of the medical worsts is an understatement.
I see the worst case senerieos everyday. I see the person my age with MS or Cancer and it scares the hell out of me. Sometimes I don't realize that it is scaring me till all of a sudden I start checking the symptoms online and finding out I have them all - or at least some.
I did have health concerns when i was a child and it took many trips to the doctors and 2 surgeries to find out what was wrong with me. My mother was relentless that something wasn't right - and even though two doctors said I was simply a "dramatic child" she ended up being right.
I find myself at a difficult crossroads. I am going through another down time. I haven't experienced anxiety this badly in years but my father had two strokes last April and since then I have felt like I was slipping and now i have totally fallen.
This time it isn't cancer that I am freaking out about (it usually is ovarian, cervical, thyroid, endometrial, stomach or low bowel) - this time it is MS. I seem to have pretty much all the symptoms listed on the internet. I know a lot about MS as I studied it when I was in training. I find that is my problem with a lot of things - I know enough to be able to freak myself out - but not always enough to reassure myself. I also don't have the luxury of saying "how many people have you met with such and such a rare disease" cause chances are I have met plenty!
Does anyone else work in Health? Does anyone else find that their work is often a trigger to the obsessive merry-go-round of anxiety thoughts? I would really love to hear from someone else as to how they deal, or don't deal, with the constant "in-your-face" of sickness and Trauma.