Anxious, on and off, since 13. Now in 40s.

[NineFour]

Hello,

I'm pretty much a "lifer" at this anxiety thing. I had my first panic episode when I was 13 years of age. At the time, I was being raped and beaten by my stepfather; which seemed to trigger it. I was a homeless teen for a couple of years after that, as my mother remarried another crazy, angry man, and I didn't want to end up beaten and raped again.

I was OK for a while after that all happened; with the exception of a couple of panic episodes, and then in 2002, I was beaten and screamed at multiple times by my live-in boyfriend. My anxiety was again triggered, and after I left him, I spent six or seven years in a full on wig-out. I barely left the house, and if I had to go out, I self medicated with booze, so I would not freak out. I didn't drive on the sauce though.

In 2009, I started to feel better, and I managed to get a lot done, and then another trauma happened recently, and now I am anxious again. It sucks, and I want to feel better. I am doing all that I can, sans taking medication; I am not emotionally prepared for that. I want to try to get past this on my own. I know it's not at all easy, but I am trying. I'm thinking about going for therapy, because I have a lot of pain inside of me, and writing and performing music isn't enough to get it all out, even though it helps somewhat.

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.

All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.

[NineFour]

Thank you.