How did I get better.....

[sixpack]

Sixpack, I love reading your posts.  They are inspirational and calming at the same time.  You make so much sense.  Thank you.

Relative to what some people have posted, I still get this tingly feeling in my leg skin. Some days less, some days more and I try to think, WHY?  Maybe I am still focussing on it too much.  My doctor said he feels it is most likely stress related as all my test results have been normal and it hasn't progressed into anything after 8 years.  I haven't had it continually for 8 years - there have been years in between when I have been totally normal.  It is quite maddening to say the least. It's funny, I was in Mexico last week and I only seemed to have it when I first woke up for a while and then most of the remainder of the day I felt fine.  But, last year in Mexico I wasn't any better, so maybe the location has nothing to do with it....

I've been on cipralex for 3 months and I am really hoping that this helps. Ahhhh!

Six, I hope your eye heals on its own, but what ever you have to do to see normally, I am sure you'll be fine - the odds are certainly in your favour.  I am sending positive vibes your way. 

Thanks again for all your great comments, advice etc....

If it heals on its own, then great.  that would be the best.  If it doesn't, then I'll deal with it.

In the mean time,  I'm living my life.

the last few days I've been doing a bit more shopping... not buying much but looking around.  In the last couple of weeks I visited a pet store that has open cage tops so can play with the ferrets.  I've baked a bit more.  I even started my yard fantasies for this summer.  One passtime I enjoy which I haven't had time to indulge in is dreaming up what I would do when I win the lotto.  Yeah great fantasy but so intriguing.    My dog and I have been able to do a bit more hiking this week too.  Aside from some unintentional skates on the ice and crashing or near crashing, it has been a blast.

[sixpack]

Amazing post!!!! Thank you so much! Big hugs to you for posting this.

Thanks so much, Sixpack. You really are a blessing to so many of us on here! 

I am glad my ramblings are helpful 

Thank you, Sixpack!  I love your post.  I have just started gardening, I know I need a hobby!  I realize sun I am busy, even if it is running errands, I feel less anxious!  You rock! 

I truly love gardening.  I'm already plotting how I spend my "mad" money for the yard this year.    What I don't really enjoy, but love the results, is spreading the 8yds of mulch I put down in the gardens each spring.  ACK hard work but so worth it.  Mulch covers a multitude of ugly areas too.  LOL.  I had a truly spectacular yard when we lived in Louisiana.  I even dug my own pond.  Up here in NY state, I don't have nearly as beautiful a yard.  I try but in order to get THE yard I want would entail $$$$ AND the hauling in of lots of dirt.  SIGH...

[theelt712]

Great post :). The problem I have is not monitoring and not Googling, as it is an addiction. I have always been an overthinker, but I will look at this often. :)

[sixpack]

Great post :). The problem I have is not monitoring and not Googling, as it is an addiction. I have always been an overthinker, but I will look at this often. :)

we hypoes tend to want to call it an addiction.  it makes it seem like we then have no responsibility for the behavior. It is the "I can help it" sort of thinking..   But we know that is rubbish. We know it is rationalization, an excuse.  We know there are any number of things we can do besides doing a self-check or plugging in some disease or symptom in that search bar.   the truth is when we are really ready to get better, and in order to get better, we MUST abandon those behaviors.  There are no two ways about it.  If we continue the counter productive behaviors, we sabotage our recovery.    we ultimately know it is harming us and continuing such behaviors will never get us on our healing path.  So we find the strength and courage within us to do it.

[Mom21]

Thank you SO much for posting this. It's exactly what I needed right now.

[sixpack]

Thank you SO much for posting this. It's exactly what I needed right now.

 

[theelt712]

I see what you are saying about the monitoring and the Googling. What happens when you feel good and all of a sudden, you have intrusive thoughts because you do not feel anxious?

[sixpack]

URGH!!!   I said in my post above:  It is the "I can help it" sort of thinking..   But we know that is rubbish. We know it is rationalization, an excuse.  We know there are any number of things we can do besides doing a self-check or plugging in some disease or symptom in that search bar.   the truth is when we are really ready to 

but meant to say "I can't help it"

my fingers go to fast on the typing at times and I miss those little errors.

[sixpack]

have you read my signature at the bottom of all of my posts?

that is the answer to your question. Cuz, honey,  your body and mind ARE anxious, you just don't know it consciously.

[theelt712]

I have. It is a long road to recovery, and I am just beginning. I love this thread, though.

[LivD]

Thanks from me as well. 

It's very true that sometimes distractions and hobbies don't work 'cause we are still monitoring symptoms all the time. I guess we don't have to expect these activities to make us feel great at any cost. We have to concentrate on the activity itself, not our "feel better" goal! I've made this mistake many times. And yet, sometimes I'm doing something "just because" and all of a sudden I feel engrossed and relaxed and it's great. 

[sixpack]

Thanks from me as well. 

It's very true that sometimes distractions and hobbies don't work 'cause we are still monitoring symptoms all the time. I guess we don't have to expect these activities to make us feel great at any cost. We have to concentrate on the activity itself, not our "feel better" goal! I've made this mistake many times. And yet, sometimes I'm doing something "just because" and all of a sudden I feel engrossed and relaxed and it's great. 

I like the way you phrased that.  Yes that is EXACTLY what I mean.  AND I, too, have made the mistake of engaging in an activity for the "feel better" goal.  And it has failed miserably.  LOL.  because I was monitoring.   


Getting better is NOT for the faint of heart.  On the other hand, trying too hard, usually backfires.  I've heard that many times here---- I'm trying so hard, I'm doing this, that and the other thing and I'm still twitching or I'm still freakin'...........   oh that anxiety is a wily foe.  we have to balance the "I need to do things to get better"  BUT also "do it in a way that we are not allowing our mind to fixate on 'do I feel better yet' or trying so obsessively hard".

I think, often, we get those moments of clarity QUITE by accident.  by that I mean, we'll be a mess anxiety-wise.  we'll be so diligent with doing all the right things and almost seem like we are failing at it, 'nothing works'.     Then we go and do an activity---- maybe at the urging of a friend or family and accidently get lost in it.  We have two hours (or whatever time) and feel great and are happy and enjoying the company or the hike or the movie or the football game or............    on the way home we suddenly realize you felt GOOD.....     Those are teachable moments, IF we allow them to be. 

[LivD]

 

We are such control freaks, and overcoming anxiety also means letting go, losing control a bit. It's hard to compromise between effort and letting go!

Bye Sixpack!