very inspiring post, thank you! I feel like I've been trying to tackle my ha head on, but it making more anxious! not sure how to explain it but i decided to do pilates 3 times a week because i truly love it, but while i'm in class all my symptoms come up right before and during my class and it so discouraging! i end up trying to fight the thought that "maybe i should take it easy maybe my body is not capable of exercising". I'm still going to class but it's not easy. Also i've been doing meditations and chi qong and eft (tapping), thinking it will destress me a little bit but i've been more anxious and my neuro symptoms are increasing (on and off) and to top it off now I have weird heart things going on.... so am I focusing too much on myself and healing? to a point where it's stressing me out more? is that possible? I'm so trying to make all these changes in my life but it's seems to be making things worse! what's going on?
I know all of this can be quite discouraging. However, imo and in my own experience, I believe there are a few things going on here. I even hit on most of this in my original post.
some of those are:sometimes anxiety symptoms are relieved when one is TRULY occupied. BUT remember a body has to be relaxed for a while before a body calms down. So one cannot expect the brain to say----oh I"m working now and I'll just forget that I'm a mess really and give up on the aches and pains." anxiety doesn't really have an on/off switch.
I've also had times when I've been stressed and decided----Okay I'm going to get involved in something to get my symptoms to go away. guess what? it doesn't work then. cuz, on some level I'm still monitoring
a year ago I was having, what I knew were stress/anxiety related headaches. THey were pretty bad. Well one day I went to help out at a dog rescue. I walked 7 or 8 dogs over a period of two hours or so. When I arrived, I had a headache. At the end I got in the car and drove away with the realization that the headache was gone. Within 5 minutes it was back. YEAH can you believe that.
I've even had gardening or exercise that has made me more shaky
What I've come to understand both logically (the easy part) and emotionally (the harder part and this part can still sometimes be a challenge) that this is a lifelong process. That doesn't mean I live in misery lifelong BUT that I am cognizant of who I am, how I react to stresses mentally and physically. I really looked at my own personality and how that impacts the way I react to stresses. I can see how my personality tends to react to stressors. I am also aware of how genetics plays a bit of a role in all of this. I also take into account my life experiences that can aid/abet anxiety. This, in and of itself, took me being honest with myself. It wasn't a one day thing. It evolved through the years. I am quite certain I'll gain more in sights about myself and life, in general, as the years go by. This isn't always easy as we all have faults and we all have strengths. Sometimes this part can be tough depending on the person
I had to quit acting like I was doing everything I could to get better when I knew, being honest with myself, I wasn't... Oh I may have been halfway trying some proactive things (maybe just enough to show family that I was making an effort) but often I was doing all the stupid reactive things.
I had to learn that I will never be stress free but I can learn to deal with it better
remember our bodies, when we get like this, are all amped up. any proactive thing we do, while absolutely necessary, STILL takes time to get to working. Even doing all of the proactive things perfectly
will often take months to make good headway. This whole thing is not a 1, 2, 3 and all is solved.
In my own life right now-------- I've talked about it here on the zone. so you may know about it. Since Mid December and for 6wks thereafter were acutely
stressful.... my hubs received a diagnosis, 6 out of the 8 of us had lice (and as the momma, I
did the heavy lifting which took 3+wks to get under control) my mom had a stroke, there were end of life decisions my sisters and I had to make, my mother passed, then dealing with differences in how to ultimately put my mother to rest. All of this stress ended up causing a substantial issue with my eye... It is called central serous chorioretinopathy. You can find threads about my saga here.... The usual cause of this is excess cortisol being released in the body during high levels of stress. It has caused blood vessels to leak behind my retina in my right eye. I have three leaks.... All of the stress that caused this issue has been resolved (even hubs dx has a game plan now). So I am not all freaky. I am going about my life. BUT this damage to my retina can take four to six months to resolve itself
. In 90% of people it does resolve on its own. Some people end up needing laser surgery or injections into the eye. So here I am not wigging, getting on with my life BUT still having to let my body heal. Stress did this to me. Now imagine if I was running around anxious about it? Running around trying to find only the sinister in it? Running around only thinking about how much stress damaged my retina and fixating on it? Do you think that would make anything better or do you think that would just keep my body in the fight/flight mode and thus causing further damage? Well you and I both know the answer to it. So what I am doing is going about life as usual. I endeavor to not pay the situation any mind. I am trying to let my body heal. I go back to the retina specialist (and the regular opthamologist too) in May to see if things are better. If not, then I'll need some treatment to help my retina heal. Because this can't be left unhealed forever.
so what does my experience right there tell you?
now onto another thing that could be going on. But kind of still tied to the above
As mentioned in my OP, you can be in the most engrossing activity, one that you love. But if you are looking
to see if you are better, what are you really
doing? You are monitoring your body. So really
are you engrossed in the activity? Are you really
leaving the over thinking at the curb when you go to do the pilates? OR are you just doing the pilates WHILE you worry, scan, monitor?
I think it is freakin' fantastic you are moving your bum. Keep it up!!!
1. an amped up body can take months of proactive habits before making head way.
2. look at what is happening with me and see how long it is going to take my eye to heal... this is an ACTUAL organic condition due to stress.
3. if you are looking or paying attention to symptoms while doing the proactive, then you are still monitoring. AND that monitoring is going to slow down any proactive things you do.
4. an amped up body means lots of fight/flight stuff is going on. there is lots of adrenaline being poured into our bodies thinking we are always being chased by the bear. This wears a body out. So any exercise or other proactive activity can make a body more shaky or exhibit other anxiety symptoms.
5. Yes people can try too
hard. sounds weird but when one is trying too hard, it means one is monitoring how they feel. If you get what I mean?
amsa---things get better. they do.