Feeling sick - to go for ultrasound or not?

[hamsterswheel]

I'm looking for some advice?

Ive posted a couple  of times, regarding this smaller than pea sized bump at my collarbone. It's been there that I first notice from poking about for 14 months. Nothing about it has changed.

I've seen 4 different doctors about it. 2 gps, 1 doctor at emergency room and one breast surgeon/consultant  (who deals with collarbone lumps as can be related to breast ca). all of which have said it is definitely not a lymph node and is a fatty cyst or lipoma. Nothing to worry about.

But I brought it up for the 3rd time with my gp last week and she re-iterated the above but said she felt I won't believe anyone unless I go or an ultrasound. She specifically said that she does not think it is necessary medically but for me to 'tick a box', if it means I will put it to rest.

Anyway I got a voicemail fom the hospital to arrange my app and I'm sick with fear. Fear of what if they are wrong and I'm really dying from some sort of ca. I'm due my second baby in 2 weeks and I believe what if I get bad news. I know it's mad because even if it was bad, the sooner I got treatment etc etc. but I just so don't want there to be anything wrong. I'm frightened.

I've also experienced first hand how some tests come out ambiguous and need further tests, all to find all ok.

I feel so stressed by it all.

[SighNoMore]

Will you actually put it to rest or will you think the u/s missed something or it wasn't big enough to see? Until you tackle the ANXIETY you are always, always going to have the what ifs.

The anxiety isn't going away until you smack it in the face and realize it is feeding you lies. This lump may always be there and you have had countless check ups reporting it is ok. Is the u/s REALLY going to make it better?

[hamsterswheel]

I'm worried the ultrasound is going to find ca.

[hypomom]

No matter what you do, you will not let this go. You've had MORE than enough doctors give the reassurance you think you need and you've CHOSEN to ignore them or not believe them. So do the test or not, you will still swear there is something there that isn't. You'll say, oh, maybe they didn't look at it right, maybe the person doing the test messed up, maybe the misread the results. You HAVE to get this together for your baby. Stop reassurance shopping and go to therapy.

[SighNoMore]

No matter what you do, you will not let this go. You've had MORE than enough doctors give the reassurance you think you need and you've CHOSEN to ignore them or not believe them. So do the test or not, you will still swear there is something there that isn't. You'll say, oh, maybe they didn't look at it right, maybe the person doing the test messed up, maybe the misread the results. You HAVE to get this together for your baby. Stop reassurance shopping and go to therapy.

  This exactly! You have been told it is fine over and over, but you want one more fix. It isn't going to last. You have to deal with the anxiety. You responded with you were afraid the u/s would should cancer. I understand that fear, but what if it doesn't? Then what? Oh yes, you will question again and again and want more reassurance. You have to realize you are ok.

[aunjypoo]

I got an MRI last fall swearing to my husband it would end my fear of brain tumors/ms. It did not, I switched to Parkinson's/ALS... I ended up using ridiculaous amounts of our savings going to different dr's in secret to feed the obsession I had of me dying... I'm pregnant also, almost 16 weeks but I finally snapped out of it because I knew how unhealthy my thoughts and behaviors were for our baby.. It's not good to put yourself through all that stress.. Now I'm perfectly ok with the fact that if I had ALS or some deadly disease I'd be progessing by now, which I'm not.. Now I can focus on what really matters...

I really hope that this test can put your mind at rest and you will be able to focus on you and your babies health.