Just another anxious person,gosh I hate this...

[marlenen]

Well what can I say im 18 and have always been an anxious person but never as bad as when I was 17 and had my first child it was soo extremely traumatic for me although I didn't really realize that till recently. I moved out of my moms house ( I was the biggest most spoiled baby ever ), missed school for pregnancy reasons (missed out on my final year of high school),stopped sports( which I loved ) got talk about daily( sometimes even in my face) , lost a bunch of my friends ( because I guess I was the scum of the earth or something in their eyes), reputation ,my body, and self love( I miss this the most ). Although I finished high school while pregnant and got a scholarship to university I feel I used my success to hide my fears and trauma. I had a stressful delivery high bp, babies heart rate dropped but he is as healthy as can be now and is the love of my life. I have a loving husband named Jonathan who is absolutely essential to everything I do, I could have not found any better person to spend the rest of my life with. He's really realized my anxiety is a problem and helps me cope but there are things I tend to keep to myself more nowadays. I try to hide my anxiety as much as possible. This nervousness and lack of love and appreciation for myself have made me feel incompetent, ugly and even stupid. I don't want to dress up anymore, I don't even wanna look in the mirror sometimes. I feel like my husband shouldn't be attracted to me anymore,  because I've become someone I don't absolutely love . I worry about everything and sometimes I even want to run away from everything. I would never because I am a devoted mother and wife who truly love them so much. I worry about all kinds of health things from headaches being tumors, to cervical cancer to parasites you name it. I want to change I hate this about myself Im sitting here writing this crying and I want to love myself again I used to and I just want to live and breathe without worrying. I want this for my family...

[camel]

Hello there, welcome to the site

Glad you found us. I know you will find plenty of information and support here.
Lots of people going through similar things here.

There is plenty to do around the forum as well as a great chat room (once you have 3 posts, and is for 18's and over only)

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

I look forward to seeing you around the site :-)