Serious issues going on with Anxiety and Stress...

[Tacitwidget]

Or at least, I think it's caused by anxiety and stress.

Hello all, I'm a newbie here. Unfortunately I've been under quite a bit of crazy stress after going out and shooting my gun. Well, I didn't have my plugs in as well as they could have been and I developed Tinnitus. For the past three months it's been alot just to make it through some days; the beginning of the experience was the worst, most hellish and hopeless experience of my life. The only way to describe it was being a 'zombie', where your mental state was detached, everything in the world was grey and you could barely function as you are depersonalized from the world. I was pretty much suicidal at this time.

Well, I managed to get used to the sound which was an "EEEEEEE" sound that came intermittently. I was doing great, mostly because if I needed to I could mask the noise with nature sounds or something. Well that lasted about a week. I started noticing that when I went to bed, I heard beeping noises. I didn't notice anything during the day, but gradually I did. My "T" had morphed into being reactive, meaning whenever there is sound, the tinnitus sound kicks up along with it. That means the comfort of masking had been taken from me, which left me devastated up to this point.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, I had a panic attack a few nights ago. I felt of sort of 'shoot' go through to my leg and afterwards noticed the bottom of my foot was sort of vibrating. My arm felt weaker and tingley as well. The funny thing is is that I'm trying to become an artist, and this has happened to my good arm. So, now I'm into a serious issue here. I'm hoping that this isn't permanent and I was wondering if anyone else has had any experience like this? I just can't believe how life is out for me, it's unbelievable. To be honest, I really don't care if I live or die anymore since this world is mocking me with its bullshit. I said to myself I'll give it time - I'm going to go and see a neurologist, possibly get an MRI done (though they are loud and will probably increase my T). This chain of events, I truly believe was meant to put me out of commission. I don't know, but I'm starting to really not care anymore for life.

Eh, sorry for the rant but I figured I'd see if anyone else has had something like this happen and it get better.

[sba83]

The physical symptoms of anxiety can really push you to the edge.  I've felt like giving up several times but things can and will get better if you don't lose focus.  Don't give up on your art work.  Maybe the depths of anxiety and stress will inspire beautiful things.  Some days will be tougher than others but you gotta keep going, don't give in to the tricks your mind plays on you.   The world is not mocking you, you haven't been singled out.  You are not alone in your frustration.  Seeing a neurologist is a good start, I hope your tinnitus improves so you can focus on getting your confidence back.