I'm feeling really really low today. I had sinus surgery on Friday to clear out a chronic infection, and fix a few structural issues. This was a last resort after all the usual treatments didn't work. I'm hoping it will help with some of my dizziness, fatigue, headaches, vision issues.
So I had been recovering pretty well. Sat I had some minor issues but pretty good overall. The doctor had told me I could return to work Tues (tomorrow). Well today I'm still having drainage out my nose and still not really feeling myself, but luckily no pain. I rang the doctor and he said I should go ahead a take it easy the rest of the week, meaning no work.
Well I was already upset by that anyway. But then I call my boss to tell him and he literally goes off on me about how that was poor planning on my part and now things are all screwed up and I should have just taken the week off beforehand etc. I was pretty shocked by this because generally we have a really good relationship. I do understand that as an employee though he depends on me to be there but I guess it just seemed excessive. I hung up the phone and started crying and haven't stopped since.
It's not just that he's mad. I haven's seen my kids but an hour a day since Thursday and when they left for the sitter today they were begging me to let them stay with me. Broke my heart
And on top of all that I'm worried that I still feel bad because the surgery wasn't a success and it was all for not. Now from all the crying my eyes and face and head hurt. I'm worried I'm setting back my recovery but can't seem to get it together. My husband went back to work today and I'm all alone. I've tried calling a couple of friends up to talk but everyone is at work.
I know I'm probably just not giving myself enough time to feel better but will it ever come?? I've never had surgery before so I have no clue what's normal. The doctor didn't seem at all concerned. I just feel like everything is piling on right now and I guess I just needed a place to rant where people would understand. It helps. I just feel so low right now and I'm not sure why I'm so emotional. I stopped all pain meds on Sat so it shouldn't be any kind of side effect. Someone please tell me this is not my new permanent state of being.