Hitting rock bottom. Support needed please :(

[ejmommy]

 I'm feeling really really low today. I had sinus surgery on Friday to clear out a chronic infection, and fix a few structural issues. This was a last resort after all the usual treatments didn't work. I'm hoping it will help with some of my dizziness, fatigue, headaches, vision issues.

So I had been recovering pretty well. Sat I had some minor issues but pretty good overall. The doctor had told me I could return to work Tues (tomorrow). Well today I'm still having drainage out my nose and still not really feeling myself, but luckily no pain. I rang the doctor and he said I should go ahead a take it easy the rest of the week, meaning no work.

Well I was already upset by that anyway. But then I call my boss to tell him and he literally goes off on me about how that was poor planning on my part and now things are all screwed up and I should have just taken the week off beforehand etc. I was pretty shocked by this because generally we have a really good relationship. I do understand that as an employee though he depends on me to be there but I guess it just seemed excessive. I hung up the phone and started crying and haven't stopped since.

It's not just that he's mad. I haven's seen my kids but an hour a day since Thursday and when they left for the sitter today they were begging me to let them stay with me. Broke my heart    And on top of all that I'm worried that I still feel bad because the surgery wasn't a success and it was all for not.  Now from all the crying my eyes and face and head hurt. I'm worried I'm setting back my recovery but can't seem to get it together. My husband went back to work today and I'm all alone. I've tried calling a couple of friends up to talk but everyone is at work.

I know I'm probably just not giving myself enough time to feel better but will it ever come?? I've never had surgery before so I have no clue what's normal. The doctor didn't seem at all concerned. I just feel like everything is piling on right now and I guess  I just needed a place to rant where people would understand. It helps. I just feel so low right now and I'm not sure why I'm so emotional. I stopped all pain meds on Sat so it shouldn't be any kind of side effect. Someone please tell me this is not my new permanent state of being.

[JunoX]

This is not permanent. All surgery, no matter how routine or minor has issues that come with it. You need some time to heal. If your doctor is not concerned, then this is something normal and not anything to worry about. Give yourself some time to get back to normal and stop being is hard on yourself. You really need to think of yourself first and to hell with everything else. If you let outside things stress you out, then you will not heal correctly. Your health comes first because at the end of the day, your the one that has to suffer the pain, treatments, set backs, etc, not anyone else. Your boss was wrong for reacting the way he did. You just went through surgery and you have no method of predicting how you will recuperate from that. It could be fast and your back to work right away or can be a little slower and won't be able to make it. This is sinus surgery which affects your face, eyes, head, etc. You need rest to recover from that. Its nit like an ankle that can be propped up with ice in your cubicle and your good to go. You need your head to function. Your boss is going to have to handle his rinky dink business in his own. Sorry to talk this way but it p--s me when I see how some of these employers basically abuse their staff. If it wasn't for their staff, their a-- would have been shut down.

[ejmommy]

Thanks for the response J U N O. This has just been a particularly bad year for me (health/anxiety-wise mostly, but otherwise too), and it all seems to be coming to a head. I was so positive going into the surgery and everything that this was finally something that was going to make me feel better, and at the same time make it a little easier to address my anxiety issues as well once feeling physically better. But instead it has just turned out to be one of the most stressful things in so many ways   

I'm trying to just refocus all that energy into recovering, but it's hard to do so worrying about all that other stuff. To top it all off, I cried (hard!) for at least 2 hours, then on and off for about 4 more. Now my eyes are all achy and not focusing right and I'm on to optic neuritis again. I hope it's just from all the crying. Ugh. Sometimes life is just hard!

[sassparella]

If you cried for that long it's hardly surprising that you have achy, blurry eyes. It sounds like you've had a tough time recently what with your boss and the surgery. I agree with 0115, your boss should have been more sympathetic, the last thing you need is more stress. I hope you're able to relax a bit and recover for the rest of the week.