Just figuring out my OCD

[firelyte]

I've always joked about having OCD because of the way I keep things organized or do things. You know, oh, my desk is organized chaos, but I need it that way, that sort of thing. I've always suspected I had some version of OCD, as there are a surprising amount of things that I need just so in order to productive, etc. For example, at work, all of my new emails need to be answered before I can make phone calls or leave the office for a meeting. In order to get things done at work, I need to have a space on my desk absolutely clear, even if the rest of my desk is an absolute mess. Lately I've been spending more time thinking about my main issue. Just over a year ago, I was fired from a job, and being fired was completely unexpected. I had been a good employee: my reports were always on time, I was always early for work and always stayed late if necessary. I go to court regularly for my type of job (not a lawyer), and have to testify, and have been told many times that I am an excellent expert witness and that the reports I submit are very well done and thorough. Up until being fired, I was very confident in my abilities and never had cause to worry. At my last job, I had submitted a two-months notice that I was leaving. The short version? They fired me before I could work out the remainder of my time and so they wouldn't have to pay out my paid time off to me (150 hours!). It was unjust, and I know that, but it seems to have been a kick-off for my anxiety/ocd. Since then, at my new job, I've been living with an irrational fear that I'm going to be fired. My office is directly next to three of the supervisor's office, and I can often hear them talking. Any time they are worked up about something (whether it's related to me or not), I begin to freak out that I'm in trouble and I'm going to be fired. Initially I thought this was a form of PTSD, but I've realized I have other things going on. When I have tickets for an event, I check that the tickets are in my purse/pocket/etc at least three times before leaving home, once in my car/friend's car, I check at least two more times that i still have them, once at the venue/walking up to it, I check three more times, just to make sure I have them. I worry incessantly about issues I know about and how I can help fix them, even if it's not my issue to fix. My sister has a lot of things going on right now, and I'm constantly worrying at her problems, trying to figure out what she can do to resolve her situation(s), even though it's not my place or job. I have an irrational fear that my husband is going to get fired from his job (he was fired from a crap job two years ago), and begin to panic any time I get home and he's already there, and he's looking down/sad/etc. I'm sure there are other things that I do/worry about, but I've never given much thought about whether it could be OCD related, or just me being human. My dad has mentioned that OCD tends to run in our family, but I'd never given it much thought. As of right now, I'm not receiving any kind of treatment. I didn't realize I may actually have a problem until just recently, and now that I'm figuring that out, I'm afraid to take the next steps.

[marc]

I have been a CPA for many years and used to work for a large firm before I started my own small
firm almost 11 years ago. At the big firm in many instances, if someone gave notice they would tell them to leave
right away, so I would not concern yourself about that. In my 34 years of practicing accounting, I have seen people get
canned for no good reason and people keep jobs and are incompetent, so I would not worry about that either. I think many
people feel and act the way you do, so I would not be too hard on yourself. I would just try to be as positive as possible and
move forward full steam ahead.