I'm so frustrated with my anxiety! I hate the roller coaster of it all.
About 6 weeks ago, I started having trouble with my right arm. I was having all sorts of symptoms - burning sensations, pain, perceived weakness, a few tingles, stiffness, etc, etc, - from my shoulder all the way down to my hand. Well, wouldn't you know it, the more I worried about it, the worse it got. I became convinced that I had ALS, even though I didn't really have any true weakness. My anxiety got so bad that I filled a prescription for Lexapro and began taking it about 3 weeks ago. Over the first week, I began to feel significantly better mentally - the thoughts that I was surely dying from some awful disease started lessening - and the symptoms in my arm started to fade. Last week, I was feeling pretty good. There were times (mostly overnight and in the morning) that I still noticed some VERY mild sensations in my arm, but for the most part didn't think about it much. I actually stopped worrying about it!
Well, on Thursday night, I had trouble sleeping. I had had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, so I figured that was probably the problem. Then, Friday night, I had trouble sleeping again, but it wasn't too bad. Last night, though, I was awake for HOURS in the middle of the night, and today my anxiety has been raging. Of course, my arm is feeling worse. It's very hard to describe. It's not really painful, it just doesn't feel right - like it's always uncomfortable. I especially have trouble finding a comfortable position when laying down. I am still worried about ALS, but have now added cancer to my list. I haven't been to a doctor because I feel pretty ridiculous. "Hello, Doctor. I'm here because my arm feels weird." "Can you describe "weird" for me?" "No, not really. Just weird." Seriously... I even feel a bit ridiculous voicing this all out loud on here.
I just don't understand what triggered it, and why I'm so up and down all the time. Last week, I felt so much better. I thought that the medicine was the right decision and that it had been what I needed. So then, why have I been panicky, depressed, obsessive, etc. all day today?
Anyway, I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.