Worried this is not anxiety and something else is wrong

[vanilla1969]

I'm having constant fear/nervousness that is hard to explain. My patience is really shot as well very loud noises aggravate me, my two kids constantly talking aggravates me, I don't wanna see scary or suspense TV/movies. I'm really scared I'm losing my mind or something neurological is going on. How can I be constantly nervous and I don't have anything that is worrying me other than that feeling. I have to take more of my usual does of lorazepam to get to sleep, it doesn't seem like its working that much to take the nervousness away during the day. When I do get to sleep its always I wake up in the middle of the night and it seems like as soon asmy eyes open my pulse goes up. My concern is this will kill me because I am  already being treated for high blood pressure and the constant feeling like this raises my blood pressure and pulse. Took my pulse this morning and it was 100 while laying in the bed. It normally runs 79-93 when I'm not anxios like this. This whole thing started with me two years ago and seems to be getting worse, I had about a year where I felt normal but I still had to take my lorazepam for sleep but only in very small doses and I would occasionally feel a panic attack coming on but I could talk myself down, now that doesn't seem to work anymore. I'm scared I will be put into an asylum cause I'm losing my mind. I'm scared cause I'm a single mother and my kids need me. Can't get an emergency appointment at a psyc facility unless I'm hearing voices or feeling like 0669. It makes me mad there is no emergency help for anxiety and panic. I feel so sad and that this will kill me.

[Yagami]

Hi there !
I think that I understand what you are going through. I also have anxiety attacks triggered by small things and even little noises can aggravate me. I'm as confused as you are. Im not sure if its stress or worries or maybe I'm worried about getting worried. I have two small kids and I understand that this makes it even harder. I think that you have a high anxiety level but Im not sure why. I hope that you will find either the right medicine or the right form of therapy that can get you through this. Don't worry you are not losing your mind and you are not alone in this.

Good luck with your problem. 

[vanilla1969]

I feel even more bad cause my two youngest wanted to come lay in the bed with me but they talk constantly and it makes it worse I just want to cry cause it seems like this is starting to effect my love ones. They don't understand but its also frustrating cause they want to be under me constantly. My oldest three kids were not as clingly as my youngest two, they are 12 and 13 and my 13 year old also suffers from being scared, she's scared to be home by herself or walk to dark areas of the house even if I'm here. I just feel smothered sometimes, I hate my job even though it provides my support, I hate being by myself with no supportive partner, I do have an ex I deal with and wanted to totally let go of but I'm scared cause he talks with me on the phone when I have my fear moments. I don't know but I just feel trapped and want to feel normal again.

[Yagami]

Can you tell more how things started ? If you want of course ! 

[Happy sailing]

Hey there,
I know prolonged  stress and trauma triggered mine.  However, I also know physically my system is out of balance and there is, I think, resulting chemistry out of balance-low serotonin...
I fought meds for a long time. I have been taking lorazepam daily, then about 4 1/2 weeks or sago, I started to GRADUALLy tray SSRI- my doctor know s I didn't take the "normal" dose, but have ben tapering on, like someone would taper of.  Small amounts gradually.  So no side effects by doing this.
I found it has been helping A LOT!
I am NOT a pusher of med, however, if your chemistry is off, it might be a possible help? Talk to doctor about it.
I don't have kids, but can relate to the noises thing for sure... The agitation etc.  Intrusive fears- anxiety constantly.
in my opinion, the noise thing etc shows hormones etc are out of whack... Just my opinion... But I think it shows, it is not just a thought induced anxiety...
I had a few tests that confirmed things like my glucose is off, thyroid was low etc.  Just when one's hormone system is thrown off it affects other hormones and chemistry etc.
So many things can cause anxiety issues and chemistry to go out of whack.. Even digestive stuff etc.
Hope this helps! 

[vanilla1969]

@Yagami it started in April of 2011 but didn't know what It was cause I have never dealt with it before. It started right after I broke up with my boyfriend (the one that I still talk to) for something he did that was very shocking. Also at the same time my son was being very defiant and getting into all kinds of trouble with not going to school and I was missing work. Also speaking of work 6 months prior I had just started working under and new supervisor and out of my 10 years working there I had never been written up and was written up three times after she became my boss. I started to worry about uterine cancer, bowel cancer, HIV, those were my beginning stages of fear. During that time I once went 3 days without eating because I didn't have an appetite AT ALL. Stomach didn't growl, no hunger pangs what so ever. I felt like I was shutting down. I was having panic attacks blood pressure shooting to dangerous levels (this is before I was put on blood pressure medicine) very sensitive to sound and noise. I was walking around feeling like I was in a dream, the left side of my head felt like a big nerve was exposed. You know how it feels when you get burned, not right after you get burned but that sensitive feeling that comes on the skin after a burn, well that's the feeling I had inside my head. Imagine walking around feeling like that, I also had dizziness and off balance and went to my ENT, he scheduled me for an ENG test which measure vestibular disorders. My ENT said I passed the ear test portion but the eye test portion he said was a little off so he ordered an MRI and it came back clear after that I slowly started to feel better but still worried about why the eye portion was not clear. Did okay for about 1 year took the boyfriend back and went through more issues with him from cheating to totaling my car out when I only had 2 payments left. Off and on I would have the feeling like the panic attacks were sitting on the side but I could always talk myself down and not totally go through a full attack. Then around the first of February I took 3 vaccinations and had a very bad reaction which caused me to be sick with fever for 4 days and my arm had a red swollen rash about the size of hand on my arm, which with my HA feaked me out. After that that's when I started to get the constant nervous feeling that went away after two days then earlier this week my son cut his thumb on a knife which freaked me out and had to take him to the ER, afterwards it wasn't that serious and then that's when I started getting the anxious feeling again.

@happy sailing that maybe the case I'm 43 Im sure menopause is around the corner and I have just been recently diagnosed with diabetes. Tried to start Zoloft but it made me feel even more crazy so I stopped, my internist said that being on Benzo's for a long time makes it worse and not better cause it's addictive and it increases the level of anxiety so he wanted to start the Zoloft. I have been on Lorazepam off and on for over two years with me taking it more everyday the last year. Dont' know just want some normalcy.