Action Plan?

[Vigilante]

Hey all,

This HA episode im having has now lasted for 5-6 months with the constant brain tumor worry affecting almost every single minute of my life. Im not sure if what happened to me last weekend was rock bottom or not but it put some things into perspective I guess. It told me I needed to push as hard as I can regarding the keratoconus/posterior keratoconus that is badly affecting my left eye. So I have been in contact with the eye unit manager to chase up my referal to the cornea specialist about the graft/transplant. Im also considering blocking that eye off because of what it might do to my brain - the brain does not like multiple vision... as well as any potential eye strain headaches it may add to my headache crisis.

Apart from that, I have started beta blockers 5 days ago, which may be starting to take effect, my bp was 160s/116 at the dr's office and on last test at home 148/89 with a heart rate of 71. I have also got myself an appointment with CBT which will start on 28th March.

As far as symptoms/sensations go right now I still have the daily headaches, they did disappear for around 2 weeks but came back, only this time its like a sore scalp/pressure feeling as well as a dull ear ache that gets mostly my left ear and behind my eyes ache to touch, funny thing is the pains seem to change alot depending on my head position if im laying down I actually feel it less then if im sitting or standing.

Dr checked my ears and I was told both ear drums are dull? not sure whats meant by that? does that mean blocked by fluid behind? they still think its due to ongoing sinus issues/muscle tension and im again on anti b's for the 4th time in 5 months. Im also due to see ENT again on 4th april after my sinus ct scan shows maxillary polyps just in my left side apparently. I have noticed I cannot smell through my left nostril or hardly at all even if its something strong like olbas oil.

Other symptoms I had like increased saliva and burning/tingling pains in my legs and skin have again subsided...which does suggest its anxiety related? I dont think if it wasnt anxiety related it would come and go for weeks on end at the drop of a hat.

Im trying hard to get on with the daily tasks I need to do, like looking after my twin girls, house work, shopping the only thing I am avoiding right now is the gym, as much as I would love to be back there I feel its a step too far and would make me feel worst with the headaches.

So thats where Im at right now, any further suggestions would be good.

[marc]

I think you are on the right track as you are trying to do the best that you can to
help your anxiety subside. I think once you begin to occupy yourself with your
children and other favorable activities, this will help your anxiety dissipate.