Anxiety and Social Phobia

[Dermot_Eire]

Hi all. My name is Dermot and Im Irish..... so the case is true that I do enjoy a drink but as I type right now - NO! I had my first taste of anxiety when I was 22 and it was a panic attack in front of a class as a teacher (maths) and.... wait for it.....still teach! Yes a severe anxiety sufferer that teaches but as I type now I feel horrible. I have been using xanax at slightly higher doses lately as I started teaching in a new area. The last couple of weeks/months have been very tough at work but I know I brought it onto me and not the other tutors! Problem is that I have stopped going into the small breaks altogether and Lunch too. I used to go into everyone of them but now none at all - This has led them to come into my small (and I mean very small) office and talk to me about how people in their centre had a nervous breakdown etc and other matters.... Which last week sent me into a spiral of negative thoughts and upped my dose of xanax to 1mg x 3 a day!! I know most people will wonder who prescribes this amount but I buy it off a chap that sells them in blister packs( I know this is very wrong but its my only way of coping). I suppose the straw that broke the camels back was my Doc. It wasnt the usual guy I would see but I had run out of xanax and I was using beer at night and xanax during the day to cope! I decided that enough was enough on Monday gone and went to see this Doc. He prescribed Zoloft (50mg) a day and some xanax (14 x 0.5mg) - the xanax were gone within a couple of days. So, I started the Zoloft, and to my horror made my anxiety crippling to the point where I wont even leave the house!!! Awful shaking, dizziness, spaced out, sweaty palms etc etc and zero sleep. After 3 days I left work and took Thursday + Friday off. I also stopped the Zoloft straight away after reading some negative comments about the drug.

Anyway, as I waffle on, I sit here on my laptop still shaking and worrying how on earth I am going to face teachers/students at work as its a very tough environment on any given day and people have noticed my strange behaviour lately. I am almost certain I am having another nervous breakdown and its coming on terribly and the Zoloft seemed to worsen it!!! Ah its really is so hard that my heart goes out to any GAD/SAD sufferers. All I can think of is all the events ive missed, things I didnt do etc and I get worse and worse as the thoughts spiral into what seems like an abyss.... Should I take all of next week off or what should I do..... My mind is like a cloud floating in space!!!!

[kconnors]

Hello . . . .

Well, yeah, you do have an issue with meds and I am not able to address that except to say, I think that you need some immediate intervention to straighten out what you should be taking . . . .not sure that beer qualifies as a "med" and the alcohol might be having an intensifying effect . . .

I might though be able to give you some support on how you would face teachers and students . . . you do so with self-value and pride. You are suffering from a mental health issue that, because of a reaction or interaction to meds, has created physical symptoms, especially insomnia, that you need to work through. If you feel that you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, then you need to seek immediate medical intervention . . . be it through a doctor or ER . . . .you need to get some place with professional help . . . .your feelings may be due to coming off the meds or the combination of meds, etc., but you need to have someone there to help you through the experience.

Right now anxiety brain is creating unreal thoughts for you . . . rather than thinking of all the events you have missed and didn't do, start making a written (yes, written) list of all things that you have done, are doing, and will do as you recover your health . . .  you need to work to reframe your thoughts from anxiety brain into what is reality brain's area. If you want my recommendation, then you do need to take the week off, but do something with that week . . . get help, don't stay at home figuring you can beat anxiety brain . . . you need to get your meds straightened out, you need to get some management strategies in place, and more than anything you need to accept that you have a journey to take and you need to commit which means not self-prescribing your drugs . . . .

You are in a bit of an ugly place right now, Dermot, but it is not where you have to be . . . . you need to manage those folks who are telling you stories about other people with nervous breakdowns because you are assuming those symptoms as yours . . . right now, you need to focus on you . . . .check out your health plan, if there is one, where you teach and any employment assistance plans but if you can teach math, you can solve this issue by taking proactive steps . . . .

Please let us know how you are doing and take the first step to taking back your life . . . take care, kc

[Dermot_Eire]

What I wonderful reply - that really did give me a lift..... I am feeling a lot better even already after reading that post. Can I say that the last 4 days have been really a tough time - but things are looking up I have to say. I am seeing this doctor tomo here in my County and here is the MP3 from him which has me really encouraged - I would hope to share this with anyone who has the same problems as me.....

Thanks so much for your help KC - have a listen to this and see what you think and indeed share if you like - http://www.0111.com/blog/dr-harry-barry-on-panic-attacks-and-general-anxiety

Regards

Dermot

[kconnors]

Thanks, Dermot, for the link . . . .I am off to listen to it now . . . .so glad that you are having a positive focus and I look forward to seeing another post from you about how your visit to the doctor goes . . . take care, KC