i got diagnosed with social anxiety a couple of years ago, but had it for a lot longer. After reading some things about intrusive thoughts, im thinking do i have ocd.
I have intrusive thoughts all the time, i try to ignore them but to be honest they scare me, i dont do anything about them and dont have any rituals, i usually just think to myself that i am crazy and the only reason other people dont realise it is because they dont know what goes through my head lol.
I did speak to the doctor about thinking i was crazy, as i used to think this all the time. His response was that i wasnt crazy, simply because i was asking that question. Apparently if ur crazy, u dont know it
I havent told the doc about the intrusive thoughts, (well except once when i thought i might stab my child??? that totally freaked me out and i went straight to the doc, she just said it was due to the awful stress i had recently encountered and that it was understandable, i wasnt to worry about it but go back if it continued to trouble me, i didnt get the thoughts after speaking to the doc) ironically the reason i havent went back about other thoughts is because it might confirm i am crazy, which is kinda funny. I am locked in my head thinking am i crazy or am i not. Generally my intrusive thoughts are about hurting people. The funny thing is that i cant even kill a fly?? I hate violence and am afraid of confrontation. Its all just weird.
I am afraid that if i tell someone about these thoughts then ppl will think im a bad person and i will lose all my friends, family, job etc.... so i know i will never tell anyone, except on here.
I dont have any rituals that i do that i am aware of, usually if im to stressed, i use avoidance and go to sleep. I could sleep forever.