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Author Topic: I am just losing it?!  (Read 155 times)

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Offline colls22

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I am just losing it?!
« on: March 07, 2013, 01:41:46 PM »
My anxiety has been worse lately than it ever has, as most of you know. I don't know how to get out of this pit.

My shoulder issue has been ruled to be rotator cuff. Fine. Go e for a few physical therapy sessions. Sometimes it seems like its getting better, sometimes not. Guess if it were *LS it wouldn't behave that way. But still I'm scared.

Here is everything else I'm feeling:

-continued weakness in shoulder, along with aching, stiffness, and now some upper arm numbness
-weird left leg, pressure, tightness, odd
-feeling like a little bit of food keeps getting stuck in my throat
-shaky, trembly
-on and off nauseous
-on and off sweats
-zero energy

Oh and sad. Just really, really sad. Hopeless, crying every day sad.

Are these all anxiety? Can that even be? Or something serious? Or is this anxiety just really doing a potentially harmful number on my body?

I'm so beside myself. I have zero appetite, drink alcohol of some sort almost every day, and just sleep as much as I can. I feel like I need to be committed.
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Offline trainwreck

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Re: I am just losing it?!
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2013, 01:54:08 PM »
Colls,

You may be losing it a little.  Cpmpare your actual symptoms with your fear.
-continued weakness in shoulder, along with aching, stiffness, and now some upper arm numbness DIAGNOSED rotator cuff issue.
-weird left leg, pressure, tightness, odd Not a symptom
 -feeling like a little bit of food keeps getting stuck in my throatNot a symptom
-shaky, tremblyNot a symptom
-on and off nauseousNot a symptom
-on and off sweats Not a symptom
-zero energy Not a symptom

But the rotator cuff issue aside, everything you describe are classic red flag symptoms of excessive anxiety. 

You really have to get to a doc the address the anxiety.  You have seen plenty of doctors for the *LS.  They would have caught it. 
Think of it this way.  *LS is stealing your life and you don't even have it.  You can get your life back.  But you have to address the anxiety issues. 

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Online Catesykes

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Re: I am just losing it?!
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2013, 03:32:14 PM »
I cry every day too. It is all consuming like you can't think of anything else. I think the view needs to be taken that carrying on this way really will make us ill. Fear is a horrible thing. I've spent most of the day reading as many articles about ALS/MND as I could get my hands on. So bad. Can you get some professional help? I'm seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: I am just losing it?!
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2013, 03:54:14 PM »
all of those things minus you rotator cuff issue are congruent with anxiety and stress
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MOST anxiety happens at the subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state. 

Offline colls22

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Re: I am just losing it?!
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2013, 04:48:39 PM »
Of course I'm thinking, oh my, the *LS nasty, every possible symptom all coming at once. Can that even happen?

Seriously though I'm so scared that this is just my life now. I'm thinking that I should spare my husband the awful life ahead for them, and leave him and move back with My parents. He's just such a wonderful man, so happy and full of life. And I'm taking that away from him. How can I do this?

Treatment is kind of out of the question. Psychiatrists are paid for but impossible to get in to, and I do have the money for a private psychologist.
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Offline trainwreck

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Re: I am just losing it?!
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2013, 05:00:03 PM »
Of course I'm thinking, oh my, the *LS nasty, every possible symptom all coming at once. Can that even happen?

I think you are missing a critical fact.  None of the things you listed are symptoms? 

I have seen first-hand ALS present and progress. 
You really, really have to do two things. 
-Quit Googling.
-Quit thinking that you are the only person in history who has been symptomatic (by your own account) and had a clean EMG. 

Focus your thought on that one thing.  Clean EMG, no *LS.  It just does not happen. 
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Offline colls22

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Re: I am just losing it?!
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2013, 11:38:08 AM »
I'm really getting to an awful point here :(

Meaning, it seems that nothing is good enough to reassure me these days.

Had my weak shoulder, but refused to believe rotator cuff as I wasn't experiencing any real pain. Now, it's aching quite a bit. You would think that would make me feel better, right? Nope. Now I'm saying to myself, maybe it's still the neuro nasty, maybe the aching comes along with it...

Left leg issue continues to freak me out, to the point that I ran up approx. 20 flights of stairs yesterday to test it. Again, you would think I would be reassured because I was able to do it, right? NO again. I felt like the left leg was maybe shakier coming back down, so it got me worried, despite the fact that going up was fine, and I think that logically, there's no way I could have done so if I had what I fear I have.

Can anybody talk me down?
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