Hello Everyone! I am new to this, but am in need of help/advice. I believe I have PTSD, after the home I was in was invaded. Heres the story: I was sleeping with my son who was then 8 months old, at his dads house. His dad finally got home around midnight, and I woke up when he got home. About 10 minutes after he got home we heard a very light knock at the door. I almost opened the door, but then backed away when he came over to open it. Once he opened the door, two men with ski masks on came flying in. All I remember is screaming, and me running to the bedroom door that my son was in, and holding it shut. There were gun shots, two bullets came through the door I was holding shut. All I could think about was to hold the door shut as hard as I could and scream that the police were coming. Next thing I know they ran out the front door..my sons dad was shot in his ear, we have no idea who these people were or what the wanted.
This all happened about 6 years ago, and still I can not sleep alone. I don't live in that same house, and never want to go back. I seem to always be checking to make sure doors and windows are locked, wake up in panic attacks if I am home alone. Whenever I hear anything that even resembles that light knock my anxiety spikes, I always am needing to let the dogs out through out the night so I can make sure they are "checking" the yard and back porch.
I have feelings of guilt. I know my sons dads house was not the safest place to be because of the neighborhood it was located, I feel like I should've known better and how dare I put my son in harms way. This is just really hard for me to get over.
I need some help in trying to get over this, any advice would be so much appreciated. Thanks for reading.