My story

[Beautifulsoul23]

Hello Everyone! I am new to this, but am in need of help/advice. I believe I have PTSD, after the home I  was in was invaded. Heres the story: I was sleeping with my son who was then 8 months old, at his dads house. His dad finally got home around midnight, and I woke up when he got home. About 10 minutes after he got home we heard a very light knock at the door. I almost opened the door, but then backed away when he came over to open it. Once he opened the door, two men with ski masks on came flying in. All I remember is screaming, and me running to the bedroom door that my son was in, and holding it shut. There were gun shots, two bullets came through the door I was holding shut. All I could think about was to hold the door shut as hard as I could and scream that the police were coming. Next thing I know they ran out the front door..my sons dad was shot in his ear, we have no idea who these people were or what the wanted.
This all happened about 6 years ago, and still I can not sleep alone. I don't live in that same house, and never want to go back. I seem to always be checking to make sure doors and windows are locked, wake up in panic attacks if I am home alone. Whenever I hear anything that even resembles that light knock my anxiety spikes,  I always am needing to let the dogs out through out the night so I can make sure they are "checking" the yard and back porch.
I have feelings of guilt. I know my sons dads house was not the safest place to be because of the neighborhood it was located, I feel like I should've known better and how dare I put my son in harms way. This is just really hard for me to get over.
I need some help in trying to get over this, any advice would be so much appreciated. Thanks for reading.

[Cuchculan]

That is sure to cause lasting memories for anybody. Even people who imagine they may be strong enough to deal with such a thing. The thing is to learn to accept that it was a once off events. It is not something that will happen to you again. Chances of that are very slim. With PTSD there is a form of theraphy called EDMR. Works well for a lot of people. They even use it on sildiers coming back from wars. People who have seen things so bad that they might need help to move on with their lives. I would place you in that sort of situation. You have this memory and you need to get help to be able to move past this event in your life. To be able to assure yourself that life is safe. That what happened will never happen again. You can look up EDMR. May be for you. Works for some. Doesn't for others. I guess you really have to believe in it to get the best results. Wish you well in your recovery.